How To Propose to Your Half-Orange

April 29th, 2011

Since people are focusing on weddings today, I thought I’d join the conversation. But instead of talking about the royal wedding, I wanted to share the story of a start to a real one.

See, I just got a letter from a guy who took proposing to his half-orange very seriously. Or, rather, seriously adorably. And as someone who believes that each one of us can be Meeting Your Half-Orange, I was thrilled to read what Larry wrote to me about proposing to Claire:

“Claire’s last name is Naranjo which is Spanish for orange tree. Growing up, her parents always called her “their little orange” and told her some day she will meet her “other half of the orange.” So I decided to dress up as half of an orange and make a video about my quest to find my other half.”

You can watch both the first part of Larry’s journey, and the second-half and the proposal. The video is a charming reminder that sometimes the search for your other half in love is a long, tiring road. But when you want it and you go for it, you can have it. As you’ll see, Larry was ready. And by the sound of it, Claire was ready, too.

As Claire’s mother Clara says in the video, “She always used to tell me, ‘I’m never going to get married.’ And I used to tell her, ‘Don’t worry. You’re going to get married. You’re going to have children. . . One day you’re going to find your half an orange.'”

Isn’t Mom’s always right?

I say the same to you. One day, you’ll meet your half-orange. Let this be a reminder that your other half is out there, too. Someone who will go to the craziest lengths to prove their love, to show they’ve been listening, and to beg you to be part of their lives forever. Larry & Claire, thanks for the inspiration and we wish you luck in your bright, sweet future!

Big love,

Posted in Optimisms

What’s Your Special Un-Love Love?

April 12th, 2011

When you’re searching for romantic love, it’s natural to treat life like a zoom lens: to twist that camera lens until all you’re focusing on is the one and only love you want in your life: a relationship. But in order to keep sane and happy, it’s better to pull back on the zoom and take in a wider view of what you have. And you know who’s gotten a good handle on this? Jennifer Aniston.

Aniston just told the UK’s Red magazine she feels a relationship and other passions in life—like a fulfilling career—are not mutually exclusive. Here is how Jen put it:

“You have to have a balance in life. You also have to have your own personal love. What inspires you, what excites you when you wake up in the morning?”

Jen’s right. If you can focus on what else you love—your un-love loves—you’ll find yourself feeling happier and more fulfilled on a daily basis, which is exactly what will draw your half-orange your way. Instead of waking up in the morning and focusing on the empty spot beside you in the bed, find something that makes you want to jump out of bed and into life. What can you look forward to? What can you throw your passion behind? Do you want to write the novel you’ve been talking about for years? Travel? Start your own business? Get that promotion? Learn Italian? Play piano? Rock climb? Spend time with your nieces and nephews? Do one thing within the first hour of your day that feeds your dream in some small way. If you want true love in your life, you have to truly love your life.

Keep thinking about the relationship you want in your life, by all means. Wake up, smile, and create that “orange buzz” of feeling that reminds you how great you’ll feel when you find your other half. But then, head off to fulfill your other dreams. Find your own personal love and create a glow about you that will make you positively happy—and, while you’re at it, absolutely irresistible.

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Big love,

Posted in In the big wild world, Optimisms

The Apple Tree Dating Theory

April 7th, 2011

I found this cute image on StumbleUpon, which I’ve finally stumbled upon as a fabulous way to procrastinate. And the story it tells is a great way to look at why, perhaps, you’re not yet being chosen by the people you like. Consider it the Apple Tree Dating Theory. And while it’s written about girls who like boys, I think this is true of anyone in dating—men or women—and whoever it is they seek to date—men or women. You’re quality, people.

Now, I don’t know who made it, but I got it from this StumbleUpon link if you want to check it out.

Like the image says, you’re amazing. And you will be picked by the right one who’d brave enough to make the climb.

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Big love,

Tags: amazing, dating, frustrating, getting hurt, single
Posted in Being yourself

Want Some “Be Yourself” Inspiration? This is IT.

April 1st, 2011

The other night, I met some girlfriends at the Nuart Theater in L.A. to see the film Bill Cunningham New York. My fashion-minded friend Kerry suggested the idea, and God bless her for it. It’s amazing. Run, don’t walk, to try to find it at a theater near you. And if you can’t, put it on your Netflix wish list today.

Bill Cunningham is the photographer who shoots and compiles the On the Street page for The New York Times Style section each week as well as “Evening Hours.” And if you don’t know him (as I didn’t), well, he’s not who you’d expect to be on the pulse of fashion trends.

Bill is 80 years old (or just past that), spent the last few decades of his life living in a small box of a studio room at Carnegie hall with the bathroom in the hallway, and rides his bicycle through New York to capture what he sees. The reason I loved this film so much wasn’t in the fashion, it was in the heart of Bill Cunningham. He’s the rare breed of a person full of heart, truth, passion for his life and work, and a truly honest and good soul. I cried a few times in the film not because anything sad happened, but because I was moved by how good a person he was.

How will seeing this film help your dating life? It’s a call to live your life as your authentic self. If you want to live in a box, do it. If you want to ride a bike to work, do it. If you want to wear a blue jacket every day for the rest of your life, do it. And if you want to be like Bill’s favorite subjects who wear purple feathers and polka dot suits and show-stopping hats for a stroll down the street, do it. Be who you are, follow your passions, and live your life as only you can. If you want to go for breakfast on a date instead of a dinner, do it. If you want to order dessert for an appetizer, do it. If you want to skip away from a good date as happy as can be, do it. And if you’re on a date with an obnoxious cad and you want to get up from your stool and say, “You know what? It’s been an experience meeting you, but I have some friends to go see,” do that, too.

Bill lives life his own quirky wonderful way, spending his days and nights celebrating true authenticity. He finds beauty in being yourself. As he said in a speech at a gala given in his honor in France:

“It’s the same today as it ever was. He who seeks beauty will find it.”

Go see Bill Cunningham New York and let it inspire you, too.

Big love,

Posted in Being yourself

Two Surprisingly Simple Vogue Dating Tips

March 29th, 2011

It was a happy day in our household this week. Why? We just got Apple TV so we could easily watch our streaming Netflix on the big screen. Huh. Guess our 1000 cable channels, On Demand options, Netflix DVDs and the 1 Terabyte hard drive full of movies and TV episodes Gustavo’s friend Mike gave us wasn’t enough to watch. In any case, it’s already paying off.

Dating advice from this documentary? Who knew?

I finally got to see The September Issue, which has been on my “to see” list for a year now. You know the film, right? It’s the documentary about the making of Vogue magazine’s September 2007 issue. It follows all the major players, including editor in chief Anna Wintour and creative director Grace Coddington. And I was so taken by the talents and attitude of Grace that I wanted to share two things she said in the film that can help you in your love journey as a dating optimist. Your two very Vogue tips for love:

1. Embrace being a romantic!

When Grace was in Paris for work, she took a side trip to the Palace of Versailles. As she looked out into the garden, she quietly took in the view and said this:

“It’s beautiful. I think I got left behind somewhere because I’m, you know, still a romantic.”

I meet so many people—women especially—who scoff at the word “romantic.” Heck, I was one of those women. I used to say I didn’t want cliché flowers and dinners on Valentine’s Day, that I didn’t want a nice engagement ring, that I wasn’t about holding hands and using nicknames and showing PDA and other ooey gooey love stuff. But now that I’m with my half-orange, I’ve realized something: Believing “romantic” doesn’t mean you embrace Hallmark cards and candlelight dinners. It means you’re open to life and open to love. I think the more “romantic” you are in life, the greater your opportunity to have love.

How can you be a romantic in life? Believe in hope, believe that there is vulnerability and love in all of us and that bad situations can be handled by shifting our perspective and embracing the good within it. Believe in quiet moments where you listen to birds chirp and smell fresh cut grass and feel the wind on your face. Believe that even a bad date can be salvaged by finding what’s worthy or interesting or hilarious about the person you’re with or the situation you’re in. And believe that you—that we all—deserve a great love in life, a teammate to travel the journeys of life with. Be a romantic. Find what’s beautiful at the Palace of Versailles or the view from your own front door, and be open to the beautiful experiences life has to offer.

2. Forget about perfect—we’re meant to be different!

After Grace styled a “color blocking” fashion shoot that featured a profile shot of the documentary cameraman Bob, Anna Wintour apparently looked at his little belly in the printout of the shot and joked to him that he needed to go to the gym. When Bob told Grace this, she scoffed. This is what she said:

“Personally, I think it’s better that you’re not, like, skinny skinny. I really do. To me, it much more makes the point that you’re real people and not models. Everybody isn’t perfect in this world. I mean, it’s enough that the models are perfect. You don’t need to go to the gym.”

There again, Grace nails it. There’s enough “perfect” out there with all the Photoshopped ads, plastic-surgery pumped up people, and graphically enhanced characters we’re faced with every day. Our aim in life shouldn’t be to mimic that. We’re all different and we’re all meant to be different.

So if you find yourself grumbling about some physical aspect of yourself that you worry no one will love (that mole, those toes, that crooked tooth) remember that your half-orange isn’t looking for a picture of perfection. Your half-orange is looking for a fun, fabulous life-affirming love. With you. Yes, stay healthy, live your best life. But you don’t need to work off or Photoshop out every “flaw” you think you have. Your half-orange is going to love you just the way you are.

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