Archive for June, 2011


Your Ballet of Long-Lasting Love

Monday, June 27th, 2011

My friend Dave forwarded this commercial to me. As he was celebrating his seventh wedding anniversary with his wife in London, he remembered this commercial that he felt was a great representation of how a relationship grows together over time. And since it’s for the mobile and broadband company “Orange,” I’m clearly meant to share it.

Here, dating optimists, is the ballet of long-lasting love you’re looking for:


Let this be a great visual reminder of what you can think about when you focus on your future half-orange: a relationship in which you feel you fit together as a great team, in which you’re working toward the same happy life and taking gentle care of each other along the way.

You might also like:
The Complete Love Strategy


Big love,

Face Your Fears in Life for Love

Thursday, June 9th, 2011

Love is scary. And, hey, so is a date every now and then. (I still remember my date who, fidgeting in his seat after dinner, suggested we dine and dash instead of paying; I laid down my credit card and dashed from him right after).

But one of the best ways to get past the fear of opening yourself up for love with your half-orange is to face your fears in life. And that’s just what one author, Noelle Hancock did, which she writes about in her new book My Year with Eleanor.

Now, I haven’t actually gotten the book yet, but I will. Because the book is a stirring example of dating and life optimism: For whether or not you reach a goal or find love as quickly as you want, when you embrace the now, face your fears, and become the best you, you’ll enjoy the journey of life more along the way. And that’s the best part.

As you’ll see in her book video, down and out after being laid off two years ago, Noelle came across the famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt—”Do one thing every day that scares you”—and took it literally. In her one “year of fear,” Noelle learned to fly on a trapeze, jumped out of an airplane, hiked Mt. Kilimanjaro and did stand-up comedy (which nearly makes my palms sweat as much as they did when I watched this guy climb to the top of the Sears transmission tower to fix it). And whether it was a physical fear or an emotional one, she was all the better for it:


Love and life are scary. But go ahead, call them on it: Grab the microphone or the trapeze bar or the second date with the person who could potentially be a perfect life partner for you and see what happens. I think Eleanor Roosevelt would be proud. But more important, you’ll be damn proud of yourself.

You might also like:
How I faced my fear in: Get Blue Crush Brave

Big love,




Shouldn’t You Have This? Yes!

Monday, June 6th, 2011

I was just chatting on Twitter with some of you about our favorite “music optimism” tracks, and I remembered a song that I used to love from Mary Chapin Carpenter called “Passionate Kisses.” It’s from her album Come On, Come On that came out in 1992, and is—I just found out—a cover of a 1988 Lucinda Williams song. Go figure. But the Mary Chapin version is the one I know and love.

If you listen to the lyrics, you’ll see how positive a message this is for your dating optimism. Give it a listen and take it to heart:

Like she sings…

Is it too much to ask
I want a comfortable bed that won’t hurt my back
Food to fill me up
And warm clothes and all that stuff
Shouldn’t I have this
Shouldn’t I have this
Shouldn’t I have all of this, and
Passionate kisses.

Yes, you should! You should have this! You should have all the good stuff, from a fulfilling career to a great meal to a comfy bed to a big wonderful love in your life that gives you butterflies when you kiss. You should have it all, and you can have it all. So ask.

Big love,