Cheering each other on


Give Yourself a Happy Love Gift

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

Seeing as this is the big love month, I wanted to share this fun news: I’ve updated my iPhone app Half-Orange Optimisms and in addition to making sure it works on all the iOS platforms and the newest iPhones, I’ve added a whopping 150 *brand new* thoughts to it. Which means the app now has more than 250 positive ideas to happy up your love life. Can you take it? I can barely take it.


Wait, do you know about this app yet? When it first launched along with my book Meeting Your Half-Orange, the iTunes store put it on the Hot List and it was recommended by The Daily News. You can find out more about the Half-Orange Optimisms app on the iTunes store. If you already have the app, be sure to update it to Version 2.0! And if you don’t have it, check it out. Because these are all original words of mine, and I wrote every single positive idea with happy love in mind. Here’s the gist:


Do you sometimes feel discouraged with dating and love? If you could use a pep talk every now and then about yourself and your dating life, Half-Orange Optimisms is here.

 Your “half-orange” (the translation of the Spanish term mi media naranja) describes your sweetheart and perfect other half. And the path to yours can be paved using dating optimism. Use them as a companion piece to the book Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match by Amy Spencer, or just dive into dating optimism on your own!

OptimismsSquareThese are not reprints of quotes or lines you’ve read before. Half-Orange Optimisms are freshly original tips and insights that provide the dating optimism you want on demand! Like a Magic Eight Ball of love wisdom, they’re the words of dating and life encouragement you need to hear at the time you need to hear them. 

Just ask for some sweet orange guidance, then shake the phone for the dose you need to turn on your positivity and draw the right person straight to you. And when an Optimism really hits home, email it to yourself or a good friend for an added boost.

• Over 250 original, unique Optimisms written by Amy Spencer.
• Get a new Optimism every time you shake.
• Optimisms are more than just inspiring quotes—they provide actionable suggestions and ideas for improving your relationship point of view.
• A bright animated 3D orange delivers your message.
• Email your favorite Optimisms to yourself or a friend. Or save one to paste in your Notes app, a post or a tweet! (Note: There is not a Saved Favorites page within the app.)
• Optimisms are for all singles—women and men, single or divorced, of every age. If you are seeking your other half or just want reminders to make the most of a love you have, these words are for you.

Your thoughts about dating can change your love life forever. Let Half-Orange Optimisms help you put your thoughts in a positive state of mind. Visit to contact Amy and learn more about this app, as well as the books and the optimism that goes with it.

What’s New in Version 2.0

Big fixes and updates with this one! Cleaned out all the bugs and freshened it up, so it’s now working perfectly and up to date for all iOS and iPhones from the 4 on. Plus: I’ve added a whopping 150 *brand new* Optimisms in this version, so the app now offers more than 250 fresh, inspiring thoughts to enhance your gorgeous life even more.

Big love,

Amy Signature 4

7 Steps to The Art (Basel) of Happiness!

Friday, December 9th, 2011

Last week, my husband and I flew down to Miami for Art Basel, where we hit galleries upon galleries full of amazing art. And over the course of a few days, as we traveled from Miami to Fort Lauderdale to Key West, I found myself noticing just how much art was all about being positive. Whether in big galleries or scrawled on light poles on the street, I found happy words and positive messages in the art everywhere—like life, it’s just up to us to take it in. Here’s just a taste of what South Beach and beyond had to say about how to live a happy life.

Step 1: Whatever you’re going through now, remember, Life is beautiful.

This is part of the Mr. Brainwash show (if you’ve seen the documentary Exit Through the Gift Shop or the streets in Downtown L.A., you’ve seen his work). It’s an oldie message, but a goodie. If you look for the junk, it’ll be there. If you look for the beautiful stuff, you’ll find that, too.

He also made this piece, another good message: Where there is love, there is life.

Step 2: Remind Yourself to Be Happy. Do the Best You Can. Be Good and Kind.

At the main Art Basel exhibit inside the Miami Convention Center was this piece called “My Mother’s Words” by Jonathan Borofsky. I think I would have liked her.

Step 3: Realize you have Everything You Want. Right Now!

At the Pulse Miami show, I came across this piece by Steve Lambert. It kind of makes me think of how I get happy every day. Instead of focusing on the things I wish I had, or the things I want and don’t have yet, I remind myself to look at what’s in front of me and see how dang great it really is. You have more of what you want than you realize. Light up the good parts of what’s right in front of you.

Step 4: Duh, Love Yourself.

On Collins Avenue, just outside of the W Hotel, I found this sticker. Which led me to the site And their message is this: “It’s time to start washing our brain with a positive message instead of being brainwashed with philosophies that keep us small and limited.” Oh, yeah.

Step 5: Even when all you see in front of you is trash, Bee Happy.

I found this on the street in Key West and it stopped me in my tracks. What a surprising fun place to find an inspiring message. It doesn’t matter what you’re looking at, happiness is a choice. As you’ll see in my next book Bright Side Up that comes out in February, I believe that we have the power to change how we feel by viewing what’s right in front of us from a new angle. What’s garbage to one person can be a saving grace to another. It’s all in how you see it.

Step 6: When things go wrong, find a way to say, Es Excelente!

This was another piece at the Art Basel show at the Convention Center with a pretty excellent message. Start your day thinking “Es excelente!” and you’ll find more than enough reasons to prove yourself right.

Step 7: Order the lobster roll.

Oh…right. So this isn’t officially “art,” but believe me when I tell you that the lobster roll from The Conch Shack on Duval Street in Key West was so delectable, it tasted like art. In fact, we had it three times in two days, which reminded me: There’s no such thing as too much of a good thing. If it will make you happy and it won’t make a big dent in your wallet or isn’t a pain in someone else’s butt, order it. Eat it. Do it. Buy it. Wear it. Try it. Sing it.

Life is full of little pleasures and big signs. If you pay attention, you’ll see them all and remember to be them all.

Big love,


10 Things Singles Should STOP Saying…and What to Say Instead!

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

Now, I’m not as into slapping as the girls on Jersey Shore seem to be. But every now and then I hear something from a single person that makes me wonder, “Now, what it would take to stop you saying that?” Because sometimes, what you say about your single life hurts you more than a slap even could.

Is it time to get slap-happy with yourself in love? (Image: Amy Spencer) 

So, I’ve come up with a list of the Top 10 Things I Think You Should STOP Saying When You’re Single. And here’s what I want you to know about these things: I’ve said them all. Yep, every darn one.

In fact, the only reason I know about these phrases and the exhausted frustration with which you might cough them up is that they came out the same way from me. So if you recognize your own voice saying any of these things, you have to change your story.

Why? Because while it may feel good to say some stuff out loud, the more you say it, the more you’ll believe it, the more you’ll create the energy of it around you, and the further you’ll it’ll send you from the love of your life. Here’s my list. What’s on yours?

Do yourself a favor and STOP saying…

1. “I’m sick of dating.” If someone said to you, “I’m sick of going to the water park,” you’d probably say, “Then stop going to the water park!” If you’re sick of dating, stop dating. I mean, think about it. You’re dating to find love, right? But do you think you’ll find it being all “sick” and all? Not a chance. If it’s making you ill, stop doing it, get some bed rest, slurp some chicken soup, and when have your appetite back, go do some dating you feel healthy about. What to say instead:“I’m going to date when it’s fun or make dating fun.”

2. “Maybe I should just start being dumb/mean/slutty/_____.” The only way to end up in a healthy relationship is to do it being your very real self. You know this. If you’re going to try being someone less than you are, you’re going to end up in a relationship less than you deserve. What to say instead: “I’m going to meet someone being 100% myself.”

3. “There are no good guys/girls out there.” I know it feels that way because you’re not meeting any good ones near you, right now, who like you back. But there are so many good single people out there. It’s just taking you a second to get together in the same place and see it. If you acknowledge there are good folks out there, you’ll remember to ask for one. What to say instead:“There are great people out there, and one of them is about to meet me.”

4. “Maybe I should just marry rich.” I know, I know. You’re joking. But…not really. I used to say this, too, so I know that behind the cackling laugh, you really kinda mean it. So what’s wrong with this? The idea that you’ve given up on getting love so you’ll settle for something else you think will make you happy (though you know deep down it won’t). If you want to be rich, kick your own career up a notch and get so rich they’ll be joking about marrying you for it. What to say instead:“Screw rich in money. I want to be rich in love and see what comes with it.”

5. “I guess I’m too strong/smart/independent/______…” Sorry, but there’s no such thing as too much of a great thing. If you’re strong and smart and independent, rock on with your good self! However, what there may be (I’m just sayin’) is such an overemphasis of your strength, smarts or independence that your dates feel pretty darn unnecessary in your life. Don’t just reveal your tough side; open up with your wants and weaknesses, too. What to say instead: “I’m awesome as is, the tough parts and the vulnerable ones. And I’m going to show people both sides.”

6. “I’m never going to find anyone.” As I say in Meeting Your Half-Orange, boy, this strategy always works well, doesn’t it? When you say, “I’m never going to lose weight,” and “I’m never going to find parking” it’s funny, because you never do all those things when you think you can’t, do you? Haven’t you learned anything from The Little Engine that Could? Stop calling the “never” right to you and start talking about your ever happy future. What to say instead: “I’m going to find someone amazing for me. I’m going to find someone amazing for me.”

7. “Dating sucks.” Not if you find a way to make it fun, it doesn’t. It’s like anything in life. If you think driving sucks but you still have to do it two hours a day for work, you’d find a way to make it fun, right? You’d upload two new albums to you iPod, you’d download a book on tape, or you’d use the time in traffic to catch up with your Mom or best friend.If you think dating sucks, do the same thing. Find a way to make it not just bearable, but fun. Pick a new restaurant to try, hit a billiard hall, go see a Murder Mystery Dinner Theater, go dancing. Do what makes dating not suck. What to say instead: “Dating is awesome when it’s me doing it.”

8.One thing’s for sure: I don’t want to meet him/her online.” Ooh, what a brilliant idea: Close down doors and opportunities where you might meet someone! You know what I think? You’re closing a door because you’re being too vain about “the story.” Who cares about the story of how you met; what matters is the story you create together!Consider this: Recent research from the “How Couples Meet and Stay Togther Survey” found that a whopping thirty percent of couples now meet online. Do you want to make finding love 30% harder for yourself? No? Then stop saying what you’re “sure” of and let life bring you love in it’s own unique way. What to say instead: “I don’t know how I’ll meet them, and I can’t wait to find out.”

9. I don’t want to date anyone with kids/an ex-wife/baggage.” Oh, right, you think you don’t have your own baggage? We all do. Sure, someone else might have physical baggage (on stuff, on people) you could stick an Avery label on. But we all have pasts and personalities a psychologist could easily stick an emotional label on! Don’t let the life your partner has led before you steer you clear away before you even consider the amazing path you could forge together. What to say instead: “I look forward to seeing the interesting package wrapped around the love of my life.”

10. “I feel like I’m the only single person left.” I used to say this when I looked up one day and realized all my friends were coupled up or married or married with three kids. Everyone except me. But here’s the problem with this: What other people are doing in their lives and relationships has nothing to do with you! And by addressing other people, you’re putting pressure on yourself to “fit in” with your crew, or focusing on trying “not look stupid and lonely” to your family. But you know what you should be focusing on instead? Your life. Your happiness. Your choices. And how good you’re going to feel when you find your other half. Forget them. What to say instead: “My life is on its own awesome path and all I need to do is keep on it.”

So that’s my list. Admit it: Which of these things have you caught yourself saying? And what have you heard or said that should be on the list?

You might also like:
10 Reasons You Should Never Settle in Love!

8 Reasons to Go Out Tonight!

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Today, I want to direct you to another place to get your dose of optimism…

Picture 3…to the fabulously cute site BettyConfidential, which interviewed me for the story, “8 Reasons to Go Out Tonight.”

Here is the full story, citing Meeting Your Half-Orange, which *officially* launches next week, but is available now at, and in stores like Barnes & Noble and Borders, among others.

So…if you want to amp up your positivity, buy the book and read this inspiring story as to why getting out of the house tonight can be great for your dating life.

Picture 1
























Oh, you mean you want to know the reasons? Then check out the rest of the story!

Big love and happy night out,

Amy Signature 4

10 Reasons To Be Thankful For Being Single!

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

Sometimes it’s healthy to think about what it is you’re thankful for. This is one of those times. While you wait to begin the official “dating optimism” process I lay out for you in Meeting Your Half-Orange, get yourself on track by giving yourself the gift of gratefulness right now. Because however bummed out you sometimes feel, and however much you may crave a relationship, there’s plenty to be thankful for!

Be thankful for the path you're on... (Image: Ken Spencer)

Be thankful for the path you’re on… (Image: Ken Spencer)

Here, let me just remind you what is so damn awesome about your life right now:

1. Be thankful for . . . your big heart. If you’re looking for love right now, that’s your heart asking for it. And not everyone feels that call. Some people today really couldn’t care less if they spent their days, nights or holidays alone. If you do care, that’s a sign that you’re ready to be a part of something bigger—a healthy, happy relationship. Be thankful you’re there. That’s when love will know to come find you.

2. Be thankful for . . . your kick-ass friends. The friends who are single and happy to be your wingmen (and wingwomen) when you need it. The friends who will listen to you gripe and cuss about the date you thought went great, until you never got a call back. The friends who know when you need a bottle of wine and some good laughs to get your mojo back on track. And, don’t forget, be thankful for the friends who are in healthy, happy relationships that remind you what all your dating efforts are really for.

3. Be thankful for . . . TiVo, Hulu and cable. Back in the days when there were about eight television channels—or nothing but Pa on the prairie playing his fiddle—it was harder to find ways to drown out those sorry-for-me moments. Now? Hell, you have more channels and shows and streamings to keep your mind off of your singleness forever! I’m not encouraging you do this too much. I mean, it will fry your brain. But when you need a break from your heart, dive in and be thankful for all your options.

4. Be thankful for . . . the gorgeous world around you. I promise you: When you need a little boost about your love life, just take a walk outside. Maybe it’s in the brisk air, through fallen, cracking leaves. Maybe it’s in snow or foggy drizzle. Maybe you’ll walk along a beach with trees by the water. But whatever nature you see, it will help you put things in perspective: Love is going to add to your life and enhance what you already have. But for now, isn’t life beautiful? Shouldn’t you breathe this great life in even more? (Yes, by the way. That’s an affirmative.)

5. Be thankful for . . . McDonald’s fries. I mean, how good are McDonald’s fries? Yes, we all know how processed and frozen and shipped and oiled and fried and salted and unhealthy as all hell for us. We know this. But there’s little pain in life that can’t be cured—for just a minute—with a bite of a piping hot Mickey D’s french fry.

6. Be thankful for . . . the dates who have burned you. You wouldn’t be the person you are now if it hadn’t been for those you’ve loved and lost before. You may be thinking, “Yeah, but if it wasn’t for that jerk, I wouldn’t  have wasted all these months or years feeling so damn lousy!” And that’s probably true. But the person you’ve become—and still are becoming—is a stronger, better, wiser, and much more feeling human being than you were before.Be grateful for what you’ve learned and how much more of a catch you are now because of it.

7. Be thankful for . . . your health. I’d be remiss if I didn’t remind you that you wouldn’t be seeking love if you weren’t alive and kicking. Be grateful for that. Health is something most of us don’t appreciate until we’ve lost it in some way. Please, thank the universe or God or whoever you believe gave you the body you’re in, for letting you live in it. Just don’t eat too many of those McDonald’s fries and blow the whole thing.

8. Be thankful for . . . your weird tendencies and funny laugh. If you were some dull, dry, boring, average person, you would have settled for some average and boring relationship a long, long time ago. Because if you don’t care about the details of what’s in yourself and others, you can latch on to the first person who asks you out and be perfectly fine with it. The fact that you’re single says you know you deserve more. You know you’re a catch with a cool brain, a big heart, a different sense of humor, great taste, you name it. And you want an equally interesting and unique partner for yourself. That’s why you’re single, because you don’t want to settle. Be thankful for your standards—they’re walking you straight toward someone amazing right now.

9. Be thankful for . . . the family who loves you. We get consumed by work, emails, blogging, Tweeting, shopping, eating, planning, meeting, flying and greeting. But at the end of the day, the people who raised us and love us are are the ones we need to remember. Single, schmingle. The more you think about the love you get from your family, the more you’ll realize that that is the love you deserve from your future partner! Remember this: If you’re not getting the vibe from the person you’re text-flirting with or hooking up with that they can ever give you that love, then leave it on the doorstep and spend time with the people who can.

10. Be thankful for . . . the hours you have alllllllll to yourself. Your time is yours to do with it what you will. Use it to cook, dance, create, compute, work out, make music, or whatever your heart desires. Your single hours are yours and yours alone. Don’t waste them by ruminating about some bad date or being alone. Live up the hours you have so you can say later how grateful you were to be single at this very moment! For it is now that you’ll discover and uncover who you really, truly are.

You might also like:
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
11 Ways Being Single Beats Being in a Relationship

Big love and happy happy thanks,

Amy Signature 4