Optimisms
Cheering each other on
3 Sure Signs You WILL Find Someone!
One of my favorite single phrases—one I’ve uttered lots myself—was “I’m never going to find anyone.”
Your perfect match is out there, too! (Image: AS)
And if you’ve said it, you know it comes with the same exhausted tone you say other things like that: “I’m never going to get all this work done.” “I’m never having another drink as long as I live” or “I’m never going to live this down.” Of course, you know what happens: You get the work done. You have another drink (sometimes a Bloody Mary right then, to wash the pain of those last ones away). And because people’s attention spans are shorter than you think, you always live it down.
Which is why I know in love, you will find your half-orange. Here are three sure signs that I speak the truth:
1. You’re freaking, uh, awesome. Is there anyone else who talks like you? (Yet probably still hates the way you sound in a tape recording as much as you do?) Is there anyone else who dances like you, eats like you, sings, writes, or smirks like you? Not even close. You’re one of a kind. We all are. And every one of a kind has a great match to balance us out. You just may not have met yours yet. But as awesome as you are…you will.
2. You care enough to worry you won’t meet someone…which is a good sign! You know what they say: The true sign you’re over something (or some-dumb-ass-one) is not passionately saying you’re over it or them, but feeling true indifference. And indifference isn’t going to get you love. What will? Deeply desiring it in your heart and expecting you deserve. Your passion for love is a sign that when it comes, you’ll make it great.
3. The right person takes time. Dreams don’t happen overnight—as much as it may seem like they do. Hello, did you know that Katy Perry, the pop rock star, was signed and dumped by three record labels before she finally hit it big with her, ahem, “overnight” hit song “I Kissed a Girl”? Great things come with a little time, a lot of thought, and the stars aligning. So let this time you’re single teach you a few things about yourself each and every day, and look at the delay as a great sign that you’re not going to end up with just anyone—you’re going to end up with an absolutely perfect someone for you.
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Big love,
Like “Ugly Betty”…Be Your Own Plus One!
I’m loving how good Ugly Betty is so far this season—and how cute they’ve let her look. Love the side swept bangs, right?
Betty makes a beautiful entrance (Image: ABC.com)
And this past week, I had to give it to Betty when she attended a charity function at her editor in chief’s apartment all by herself because she couldn’t find anyone to go with. Oh, Betty, have I been there…
At one point in the scene, she was sitting with her family saying that she’d rather stay home alone than walk into a party by herself. Luckily, her family changed her mind, and she dressed up as her most fab little self, showed up at the front door, and when they asked who was with her, Betty smiled and said:
“Just me. I’m my own plus one.”
Sure, she was feeling awkward and lonely and a bit like a loser. But guess what? We’ve all been in that place. We don’t come out of the womb in a happy relationship. We all come out alone. Then we learn to face the world strong and proud until we find that special someone who makes us shine even brighter.
And the next time you’re feeling like Betty—alone, adrift, awkward—do what she did. Find something you love and dive into it. For Betty, she found a song she loved, and danced the way you wanted to Billy Idol as he sang: “I was dancing with my self. If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance.”
Don’t walk through today or tomorrow hunting for a plus one. Decide like Betty did to be your own plus one. Find what makes you feel happy and fulfilled and ask the world to dance. Because that’s precisely what’s going to show your future plus one what a party in life you have ahead of you!
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Big love,
Julianna Margulies: “All Moments Pass Quickly”
I finally got to reading my November issue of O magazine this weekend. Loved, as usge. (That’s my attempt at shortening the phrase “as usual” with my keyboard—how’d I do? Hmm, I’ll keep working on it….)
O Magazine, November 2009
Anyway, I fell in love with how actress Julianna Margulies (who’s now in the CBS show The Good Wife which I wish I had time to watch more of) explains her Aha! moment. In her story, she tells the tale of how she was stuck awake one night with her crying 5 1/2 month old baby at 2 a.m. when she had a call-time for work at 6. As she panicked over how tired and anxious she was and would be, she says she remembered something her mother once told her:
“Honey, this is a moment. It’s not the rest of your life.”
Julianna explained that she began to feel better about her situation when she thought, basically, Yeah, sure, I’ll be tired tomorrow, but I’ll be fine in the end. And that the more she looked at those small passing moments in life, the more she began to appreciate them—the good and the bad.
Julianna in "The Good Wife" (Image: Eonline.com)
“My mother’s saying put things in perspective for me in a remarkable way,” wrote Juliana, “because it made me realize that all moments pass quickly, the good ones as well as the bad.”
The same is true for dating, you know. Those bad moments—the ones where you can’t find a single person to be your plus-one at a wedding, or you show up at a blind date and understand why your friend insisted it be “blind” in the first place—they pass. But the good moments pass quickly, too! That excitement bubbling up at lunch when you know you have a date later with someone you’ve been having great emails with; those butterfly moments when you actually want to kiss someone at the end of the night. It’s wonderful to have the big picture in mind about what kind of relationship you want in the future, but don’t let that make you lose sight of the now. Every day you’re still single is a passing moment in time, both for good and for bad. Truth be told, the worst stuff will be funny later, and the great stuff will make you wistful! So grasp and appreciate every part of it now, while you’re living it. For this, too, shall pass.
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Big love,
Hang in There, Baby!
Ever feel like this?
Hang in there, baby!
This hilarious photo of someone’s cat swinging on a ribbon absolutely kills me. I mean, how funny, right? I don’t actually know whose kitty it is; it came in one of those “funny animal photos” emails that I got from my Aunt Karen, and I commend the photographer for capturing it, and the kitty for being so darn cute.
When I saw it, it just made me think: This little cat may be freaked out, but it’s also having the time of it’s life. And isn’t that exactly what dating is like? Sometimes you’re freaked out, and sometimes you’re having the time of your life.
The next time you’re feeling as ungrounded and panicked as this wee kitty, just remember that if you hang on for a minute, you’ll get on the upswing again soon and realize that, you know what? You’re having the absolute time of your life. So hang in there, baby!
Big love,
How Awesome Are You? Try the “Auction” Trick
You ever have one of those “Damn, I’m awesome” kind of days? You know, you’re looking cute, you’re feeling smart, and if someone doesn’t seem interested in dating you, you blow it off with a “tsk” and a “They just don’t know what they’re missing” kind of line.
And then there are those other days… You know, when you wake up, dwell on your downsides, and wonder: “Who in the world is going to want to be with someone like me?” If you’re ever feeling a little down on you, here’s how to build yourself the heck back up through a trick I like to call “You: The Auction.”
Do you make an mouthwatering Linguine with Clam Sauce? PUT IT ON THE LIST! (Image: AS)
Here’s how it works: The charity of your choice is doing an auction to raise money for their organization. Maybe it’s for animal rights or cancer research or a children’s school you’d do anything to help. It turns out, they need your help to put their funding over the top…by auctioning you off on a date to the highest bidder! All they need is a list of your 10 Best Qualities to list on the auction lot.
The more unique, the better. I mean, sure, being “nice” and “funny” are fine, but the more “you” you make your list, the more someone will want to bid for you, and the more money you’ll bring in for your charity. So let’s hear ’em:
Maybe you…
…know how to make delicious Chinese dumplings or Chicken Pot Pie.
…look especially hot as hell in that one pair of jeans.
…are a super-fast reader.
…can create a mean dance track on GarageBand.
…do have pretty gorgeous eyes, actually.
…can handle a stick shift like an Indy driver.
…know all the lyrics to The Golden Girls theme song.
Make your own list, of course. Think about it now, or come up with a few the next time you’re stuck at a traffic light. Be bold and big about your great qualities. This is no time for modesty—this is for a good cause! Then, whenever you’re having a down day, just remind yourself of the gifts that helped you make yourself a bestseller.
Remember, as odd or inconsequential things about you may seem sometimes, these are the things that make you stand out from the pack. It would bring in bank for a charity auction, and it’ll help you know when a match is right for you because this time they’ll be the ones saying, “Damn, you’re awesome.”
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Big love and happy listing,
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