Happiness is about being grateful for the big things—for our relationships, our jobs, our health. But aside from a few big rocks in the vase of life, really, the rest of the space is filled with pebbles of little things. And if you ever need help getting through a heavy, gray day, it’s the little things that can lift you right back up. So…what are yours?

Here, for example, are the little things that make me happy today:

1. My new Jack Purcell slip-ons. I’ve always been a Chuck Taylor girl in the Converse arena, but when I saw my sister had a pair of Purcells and I saw that Purcells came in slip-ons…happy.

2. The crazy contortions of my little kitty Guinness. When I’m rushing out the door or zipping through some emails to see she’s twisted sideways waiting for a scratch, I’m reminded to slow down, give her a snuggle and be…happy.

3. My favorite pillows. They were a splurge as far as design features go (what a racket this pillow business is, huh?) but I’m glad I bought them, because every single day they make me…happy.

4. Homemade food. Like the homemade roasted butternut squash ravioli with sage butter sauce I made with my Mom and sister. Sure, it took us, uh, seven hours, but that first bite of buttery sage was worth it. Happy.

Life sends us big problems all the time. Balance out that big boulder by being grateful for the little pebbles that fill the rest of the life vase. Take an inventory right now. What little things make you happy?

—The lamp on your desk that gives just the right glow?
—Your lucky pen that feels right in your palm?
—Your killer shoes that make you feel fabulous even in the Post Office?
—Your dog’s yawn?
—Your friend’s laugh?
—The feeling of a stapler punching, “That’s it, job done”?

As my Mom and Dad always say, “Thank you, Lord, for the little things.” They not only get us by, they make life fun to live along the way.

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Big love,

I left my house yesterday for my acupuncture appointment without my iPhone. At the office, they said the time had been mis-scheduled and I’d have to wait 30 more minutes.

“Oh no!” my insides screamed. “30 minutes in a waiting room with no iPhone?!”

And then, I thought about it. What would I, as The Life Optimist, tell myself in this situation? I’d tell myself this:

Me, thoroughly surprised at my surprise birthday party this year. Maybe we can start to see the surprises of life the same way... (Image: Ken Spencer)

Accept the surprise, in this case, of free time. We love the idea of a surprise party for our birthday (well, some of us do), so why not learn to enjoy the surprise parties of life?

So I did.

Instead of anxiously bouncing my crossed leg on my knee until my name was called, I watched the video of a man doing Chi Dong exercises on a river in China, and imagined myself there, strolling the river. I listened to the Chinese music playing lightly and the waterfall feature in the office sprinkling water like a tiny stream. And then, I picked up a copy of Natural Health sat back in the cushy chair to read. By the time my name was called, I was calm and centered and happy to be rid of the instinct to check my email before I went in. It worked for me and it can work for you: Accept the surprise.

If you’re on a date and he or she walks in and you feel zero attraction, accept the surprise, in this case, of being put in a position to search for something about them you do like. Find out what makes their life special, what their passions are and what they’ve learned in life. You just might learn something yourself.

When life throws you a curve ball and you get stuck in a place or position or job you don’t want to be doing, accept the surprise and find out what you can gain from it. If you focus on the frustration, that’s all you’ll feel. So accept the surprise and enjoy the party life is secretly throwing you.

Have you ever made the best of a bummer surprise? In love, at work, in life? How did you do it?

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Big love,