Like “Ugly Betty”…Be Your Own Plus One!

November 11th, 2009

I’m loving how good Ugly Betty is so far this season—and how cute they’ve let her look. Love the side swept bangs, right?

Betty makes a beautiful entrance (Image: ABC.com)

And this past week, I had to give it to Betty when she attended a charity function at her editor in chief’s apartment all by herself because she couldn’t find anyone to go with. Oh, Betty, have I been there…

At one point in the scene, she was sitting with her family saying that she’d rather stay home alone than walk into a party by herself. Luckily, her family changed her mind, and she dressed up as her most fab little self, showed up at the front door, and when they asked who was with her, Betty smiled and said:

“Just me. I’m my own plus one.”

Sure, she was feeling awkward and lonely and a bit like a loser. But guess what? We’ve all been in that place. We don’t come out of the womb in a happy relationship. We all come out alone. Then we learn to face the world strong and proud until we find that special someone who makes us shine even brighter.

And the next time you’re feeling like Betty—alone, adrift, awkward—do what she did. Find something you love and dive into it. For Betty, she found a song she loved, and danced the way you wanted to Billy Idol as he sang: “I was dancing with my self. If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance.”

Don’t walk through today or tomorrow hunting for a plus one. Decide like Betty did to be your own plus one. Find what makes you feel happy and fulfilled and ask the world to dance. Because that’s precisely what’s going to show your future plus one what a party in life you have ahead of you!

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Big love,

Posted in It's on TV, Optimisms

Julianna Margulies: “All Moments Pass Quickly”

November 9th, 2009

I finally got to reading my November issue of O magazine this weekend. Loved, as usge. (That’s my attempt at shortening the phrase “as usual” with my keyboard—how’d I do? Hmm, I’ll keep working on it….)

O Magazine, November 2009

Anyway, I fell in love with how actress Julianna Margulies (who’s now in the CBS show The Good Wife which I wish I had time to watch more of) explains her Aha! moment. In her story, she tells the tale of how she was stuck awake one night with her crying 5 1/2 month old baby at 2 a.m. when she had a call-time for work at 6. As she panicked over how tired and anxious she was and would be, she says she remembered something her mother once told her:

“Honey, this is a moment. It’s not the rest of your life.”

Julianna explained that she began to feel better about her situation when she thought, basically, Yeah, sure, I’ll be tired tomorrow, but I’ll be fine in the end. And that the more she looked at those small passing moments in life, the more she began to appreciate them—the good and the bad.

Julianna in "The Good Wife" (Image: Eonline.com)

“My mother’s saying put things in perspective for me in a remarkable way,” wrote Juliana, “because it made me realize that all moments pass quickly, the good ones as well as the bad.”

The same is true for dating, you know. Those bad moments—the ones where you can’t find a single person to be your plus-one at a wedding, or you show up at a blind date and understand why your friend insisted it be “blind” in the first place—they pass. But the good moments pass quickly, too! That excitement bubbling up at lunch when you know you have a date later with someone you’ve been having great emails with; those butterfly moments when you actually want to kiss someone at the end of the night. It’s wonderful to have the big picture in mind about what kind of relationship you want in the future, but don’t let that make you lose sight of the now. Every day you’re still single is a passing moment in time, both for good and for bad. Truth be told, the worst stuff will be funny later, and the great stuff will make you wistful! So grasp and appreciate every part of it now, while you’re living it. For this, too, shall pass.

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Big love,

Tags: O magazine
Posted in In the big wild world, Optimisms

Hang in There, Baby!

November 6th, 2009

Ever feel like this?

Hang in there, baby!

This hilarious photo of someone’s cat swinging on a ribbon absolutely kills me. I mean, how funny, right? I don’t actually know whose kitty it is; it came in one of those “funny animal photos” emails that I got from my Aunt Karen, and I commend the photographer for capturing it, and the kitty for being so darn cute.

When I saw it, it just made me think: This little cat may be freaked out, but it’s also having the time of it’s life. And isn’t that exactly what dating is like? Sometimes you’re freaked out, and sometimes you’re having the time of your life.

The next time you’re feeling as ungrounded and panicked as this wee kitty, just remember that if you hang on for a minute, you’ll get on the upswing again soon and realize that, you know what? You’re having the absolute time of your life. So hang in there, baby!

Big love,

Posted in In the big wild world, Optimisms

How Awesome Are You? Try the “Auction” Trick

November 5th, 2009

You ever have one of those “Damn, I’m awesome” kind of days? You know, you’re looking cute, you’re feeling smart, and if someone doesn’t seem interested in dating you, you blow it off with a “tsk” and a “They just don’t know what they’re missing” kind of line.

And then there are those other days… You know, when you wake up, dwell on your downsides, and wonder: “Who in the world is going to want to be with someone like me?” If you’re ever feeling a little down on you, here’s how to build yourself the heck back up through a trick I like to call “You: The Auction.”

Do you make an mouthwatering Linguine with Clam Sauce? PUT IT ON THE LIST! (Image: AS)

Here’s how it works: The charity of your choice is doing an auction to raise money for their organization. Maybe it’s for animal rights or cancer research or a children’s school you’d do anything to help. It turns out, they need your help to put their funding over the top…by auctioning you off on a date to the highest bidder! All they need is a list of your 10 Best Qualities to list on the auction lot.

The more unique, the better. I mean, sure, being “nice” and “funny” are fine, but the more “you” you make your list, the more someone will want to bid for you, and the more money you’ll bring in for your charity. So let’s hear ’em:

Maybe you…

…know how to make delicious Chinese dumplings or Chicken Pot Pie.

…look especially hot as hell in that one pair of jeans.

…are a super-fast reader.

…can create a mean dance track on GarageBand.

…do have pretty gorgeous eyes, actually.

…can handle a stick shift like an Indy driver.

…know all the lyrics to The Golden Girls theme song.

Make your own list, of course. Think about it now, or come up with a few the next time you’re stuck at a traffic light. Be bold and big about your great qualities. This is no time for modesty—this is for a good cause! Then, whenever you’re having a down day, just remind yourself of the gifts that helped you make yourself a bestseller.

Remember, as odd or inconsequential things about you may seem sometimes, these are the things that make you stand out from the pack. It would bring in bank for a charity auction, and it’ll help you know when a match is right for you because this time they’ll be the ones saying, “Damn, you’re awesome.”

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Big love and happy listing,

Tags: auction, dating, single, what you're doing right
Posted in Being yourself, Optimisms

You’re mad-about-able!

November 4th, 2009

I’ve got to give it to my BFF Todd Bush for this one. Todd’s always good at coming up with juuust what you want to hear when you need to hear it. And when our friend Katy was lamenting her state of single-hood yesterday, Todd was ready to bounce her back to her state of awesome-ness.

You're bursting with madly wonderful stuff (Image by: Ken Spencer)

You're bursting with wonderful stuff (Image by: Ken Spencer)

“I just don’t understand why I can’t find anyone I fit with,” said Katy. “I want to meet someone who’s totally, utterly, mad about me.”

“You will,” said Todd.

“How do you know?” asked Katy.

“Because,” he said, “you’re mad-about-able.”

When they told me about that conversation, I felt as happy as Katy did to hear it. The truth is, we’re all mad-about-able in our own ways. Each of us has qualities that some guy or some girl will go absolutely nuts to be near. I talk about this in Meeting Your Half-Orange: Those things that may turn some people off now—your funny turkey dance, your terrible parallel parking, your bizarre peanut-butter combination sandwiches, your messing up on joke punch lines, or your laugh-snort when someone gets it right—these are not “buts” to be reckoned with, they’re bonuses! And the right person won’t like you in spite of those things, they’ll love you because of those things.

It’s the unique qualities in all of us that make us not just like-able, but mad-about-able. So keep doing your dance and laughing your snort and tell the world you’re ready for the person who’ll be mad for all of it. And if they’re smart enough to be yours, they’ll snatch you up for good.

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Big love,