After my friend Stacey read my book, she said she got better at seeing her future through a positive lens. Instead of saying, “I don’t think it/love/my dream job will ever happen” she started saying, “I know it’s going to happen at some point, and I can’t wait to find out how.”

You never know what's through the next doorway. (New Orleans courtyard by Amy Spencer)

Well, love happened, and she recently wrote to tell me all about it.

While she was happily working hard and having fun, she met her now-fiancé. This is how she explained it in her email to me:

“We were just living our own lives until we finally bumped into each other. And it was like “Oh! There you are! I’ve been looking for you…”

This is the “bump into” plan for happiness.

Think of life as one great big party. Picture it: It’s full of wonderful people, good music, bad dancing, and fab spreads of food. Everyone’s milling about, crossing the room, popping through doorways and running into each other. And if you keep your eyes and ears and attitude open, you’ll meet some great people whether you’re in line for the bathroom, getting a refill on your cocktail or just strolling from one room to the next.

Like any party, you won’t have a blast by staring down at your feet in the corner. You’ll have it from looking up, walking around, and engaging with the room. You won’t bump into anyone if you’re not crossing through the room in the first place.

Follow the “bump into” plan for happiness. Join the party, introduce yourself, seek out the interesting stories, and have fun. By engaging yourself with the room, you just might meet people you really like who make the evening—and life—better than ever.

“Oh, there you are,” you can say to them, “I knew you’d be here.” Just like Stacey did. Then you can head straight to the raw bar and make the most of it.

Big love,

Something weird happened the other day. The “Google alert” I set up to notify me if my name is mentioned online popped up with a strange story. It was a link to my obituary.

Sometimes, when we look at the horizon in the distance, it helps us appreciate the sand we're standing on right now. (Image: Amy Spencer)

Okay, so it wasn’t my obituary. It was for a woman with my name: Amy Spencer of Topeka, Kansas. And she sounded like a great person, survived by her mom, a sister and brother, and her life partner Dixie. “She was a sweet and funny gal,” said one friend who posted on her online obituary guest book. (Whoa, we live in a world with online obituary guestbooks.) Then again, it was full of kind words for Amy’s family that of course I had to read. Why?

Well, here’s a secret about me that only my close friends know: I’m obsessed with death. Like, terrified of it. Scared I might die every single day. I’m not kidding. When I make a safe left turn, I’m grateful I wasn’t careened in a crash by someone blowing the red light. When I say goodbye to my parents as they’re about to take off at the airport, I fear it’s our last goodbye until I get the text that they’re home safe. And when I Tweet a link to a video of a cat stuck in a box, I worry that my final message on earth will be, well, about a cat stuck in a freaking box.

But seriously, all the gloomy thoughts? I think they help. I think my fears about death are exactly what make me so appreciative of life. I’m an optimist because I’m so deliriously happy to be alive. I’m happy my legs work, my heart works, my eyesight works and my laugh works! Because I’m always thinking about people who can’t say the same. Any time I think of dying, it shocks me into feeling even more grateful about living. And for that very same reason, I think we could all gain from thinking just for a second—as bizarre as it sounds—about being at death’s door.

Let me ask you this:

What would your obituary say?

Think about it. You might find it’s the kind of thing that makes you realize you don’t people at your funeral saying, “Gosh, she was so busy with work, I hadn’t her in years!” Or “It’s so sad, because I felt like he wasn’t even enjoying the life he had.” Leave behind a better memory by living a more authentic and full life now.

Amy Lynn Flowers Spencer isn’t with us anymore. But I like to think she can be proud about the life she lived based on the comments people left about all the happiness and joy and laughs and love she left behind. Life is short, right? We never know when one hug could be the last. And when one YouTube link will be linked to you forever. And as depressing as it seems to think about that, think about that.

Let’s appreciate what and who we have around us now, while we’re here. Be a life optimist. Love the people around you. Live the best life you can. And be the person you want to be remembered as. Today. Right now. I want people to say I’m “a sweet and funny gal,” too. Really, I couldn’t ask for more.

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Big love,

Some days I think it helps us all change for the better when we share insightful information that alters our points of view and emotional well-being. And some days…I think it’s just fun to look at mad cute animal pictures. Well, this is one of those days.

This hodgepodge of cute animal pictures made me smile, and since it’s raining where I am today, I hope to pass on the grin!

Big love,

I’ve always been a little hesitant about doing video posts. I guess because I’m so used to writing quietly by myself, it’s the fear of sounding stupid when you can see me face-to-face. But the truth is, some things are better said than written. And because even if you may not know me personally, I want you to feel like you do, because the stuff we talk about together—you know, love, heartbreak, fear, loss—well, it’s pretty dang personal.

And so I bring you my new video tab here on The Life Optimist. It’s straight up above you there, between my “About” page and “Let’s Talk.” See it? But in case you didn’t know that was there, here’s my first video!

If you’re thinking about what you’re looking for in another person, I challenge you this…

If you enjoyed that, check in on the video tab now and then for some new ones. And if you didn’t enjoy it, maybe if I send you some cookies you’ll change your mind?

Big love,

You’ll also be able to keep up with current videos as I make them on my YouTube channel…