Optimisms
Cheering each other on
Make the First Move…In Kindness
I love, love, loved this post called Unwind on the site Momastery yesterday, where the writer, Glennon writes about “Stepping Back, Slowing Down and Focusing Up.” I was compelled to share it with you.
Unwind to bring back the peace. (Image: Lauderdale Beach, FL, 2011)
The post is not only a beautiful description of how a marriage or relationship can get lost in the march of life, but also a perfect expression of how the smallest efforts can help turn it back around.
And it’s not just about relationships in marriage or dating. It’s for all of us. It’s a reminder that sometimes being the first person to make the move gets the Dominoes going. In applause, there is always one first clap. In a brainstorming meeting, there is always one first idea. After an argument, there must always be someone to reach out and take the other’s hand, to say “I’m sorry” and open the gates back to love again. If we just stand back and wait for someone else to fix it, we’ll be left alone on a piece of broken wondering what went wrong. Make the first step yourself. Reach out.
Please, read Unwind and take it to heart. Because, as Glennon writes,
“Love is not something for which to search or wait or hope or dream. It’s simply something to do.”
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Dive Through It!
Big love,
OPTIMISM WORKSHOP: How to Be More Positive! A Video Tip
People often say “I want to be more positive,” but they’re not sure how to actually make it happen, right? Well, I know how to make it happen.
The project: I’ll explain one subtle step to cut out some of the negative stuff you’re saying about your life and shift them toward the positive. You are what you eat and you are what you say. So make sure your words are giving you the best chance to for a happy life.
The plan: Watch this tip on how to eliminate one very important word from your vocabulary and replace it with language that can help you change your life for the better instead! (I’ve also posted this video in the “Video Tip” tab up over there for safe keeping.)
What you can do from here: Start small. Try this trick for one day, and I promise you’ll be amazed at how much possibility life seems to offer in front of you.. Once you start catching yourself using the Taboo buzzer word and replacing it with more positive ones, you’ll remember that anything really is possible. Then, watch the life and love you want happen!
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Let down your dating caution tape
Big love,
4 Happy Lessons for the New Year
I like to think of this whole first week of January as a celebration the New Year—giving us plenty of days to get rolling on the right foot for how we want our year to go.
So, in honor of that, here’s the cutest New Year’s Eve song I’ve seen that apparently, oh, 7.2 million people have already viewed. But if you haven’t, watch Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt sing, “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve,” and then read the four lessons it can teach us about the new year.
1. Share what you’ve got! I love that these two didn’t keep this private moment playing to themselves. They turned on their computer camera and shared it with us! It’s a great reminder that we all have things to offer the world and each other, and we shouldn’t let shyness or fear or doubt about ourselves hold us back. If you have a song to sing, sing it. If you have a book to write, write it. If you have a love, a talent or a passion of any kind, feed it and share it. That’s what life is all about.
2. Focus on the best duet. If you’re single and seeking a relationship, let this be a reminder that not just any partner will do. Keep your heart focused on the right one—the kind that works with you, dances beside you and sings in perfect harmony. You don’t date your tail off just to settle for any old something, right? Let this song remind you that your other half will fit you so well, you can make life music together.
3. Let others’s shine, too. The healthiest, happiest twosome is one in which you are also independently happy on your own. So in friendships, family, work relationships and love, be sure you’re getting a chance to sing your own part in the song, and give others the chance to do the same by listening, appreciating and supporting the people in your life. By taking turns, it makes the moments you’re singing together even more special.
4. Laugh and have a good time! I couldn’t love their opening moments of this video more. And that’s because it’s clear they’re having a great time. It’s a reminder to me that we shouldn’t just go through the motions in life; we should be living them up and laughing our way through them. Do what makes you want to kick back and smile and then…do it!
This week is a perfect time to start fresh. Focus on the person you want to be. Think about the relationship you want to have. And imagine how you want to feel in work, in love, in friendships. Because that is how you’ll get it all. Keep your eye on the prize and you’ll make the rest of your year the happiest it can be.
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Big love,
The Happy Way to Deal with Rejection
A book from a girl who walks the walk.
I recently finished reading a super quirky book called Elf Girl: A Memoir by “Reverend Jen” Miller. She’s a Lower East Side artist, performer and author who calls herself “the patron saint of the uncool” and likes to refer to her friends and herself as “Art Stars.” The book is a lighthearted version of how she became one. Oh, and did I mention she wears elf ears every day?
I’ll tell you this: If you’re looking for a woman with strong self-esteem who refreshingly lives her life the way she wants to, thank you very much, you’ve found her.
In one section of the book, she makes a list called “How to Be an Art Star.” There, along with the tip “Develop a signature style” (in which she suggests, “A good rule of thumb is to take all of your favorite clothes and put them on all at once”) she also says this:
“Rejection is no big deal. It’s simply a person’s deeming worthless everything into which you’ve poured your mind, heart, and soul. Accept that he or she must be a bad person and move on.”
HA. And there you have it. Best rejection advice I’ve heard all year.
Yeah, rejection stinks. Because whether you’re being dumped from a date, job, project or relationship, it’s pretty personal. They’re either rejecting how you physically look, talk, walk, eat, laugh, dress or wear your hair; or, they’re rejecting how you think, execute, write, sing, create or work. Either way, ouch, right? And yet, it’s basic life math: Not everyone is going to like us or what we create—and that’s a good thing! Can you imagine if we all liked the same exact houses, cars, clothes or songs? We’d be a walking pod of Same People unable to find our cars, driveways or each other because we’d all be exactly alike. How dull.
Luckily, we are all different. We like different parts of town, different car interiors and work spaces, different art, clothes and music. Which means that sometimes, we’ll meet people who hate what we do or who we are. Pfft. Big deal.
As Rev. Jen justifies it, they’re bad people, so move on. Or you know, just plain move on. There are plenty of other people out there who’ll love who you are and what you have to give, exactly as you are.
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A Gleeful Reminder
Big love,
Yes, Anything IS Possible
I just came across this story about Olympic athlete Monique Vandervorst who won two silver medals in Bejing as a paralympian cyclist. She was paralyzed from the hips down since the age of 13. Apparently, last year, she fell off her wheelchair in an accident, and it unparalyzed her. Yes, you read that right.
Click on the story to see the photos of Monique standing proud and talking about competing as a fully able athlete in the 2016 games.
The story is nothing short of a miracle. And it’s just another reminder that sometimes in life, the impossible is possible. Sometimes people survive fatal illnesses. Sometimes people who are paralyzed walk. Sometimes people who can’t win, win. Sometimes things that seem unreachable—like love and dreams and hopes and happiness—can be reached.
The next time you’re talking about love or life or a dream you want to pursue and think, “This will never happen,” do yourself a favor: think again. Sure, sometimes the chances are slimmer than a lottery winning, but they are possible.
If it helps, think of it the way Jim Carrey’s character Lloyd does in Dumb and Dumber when Mary, the girl he loves, says the chances that he and she might end up together aren’t good.
Lloyd: “You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?”
Mary: “I’d say more like one out of a million.”
Lloyd: “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!”
That, my friends, is an optimist. And it’s the best way to see your path ahead if you want great things to happen. Your success in life and love depends on how you see your search. So from now on, stop thinking about how unlikely it could be that you’d get what you want. Focus on the fact that while you don’t know where it may be coming from or how it may happen, it is possible. Anything, really, is possible. Do you have one microscopic smidgen of belief that what you want can happen? A smidgen is all you need.
I don’t know about you, but I’m going to let Monique’s story propel me. Reach for the impossible. You just might get it.
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Big love,
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