OPTIMISM WORKSHOP

Cheering each other on

Give Yourself a Happy Love Gift

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

Seeing as this is the big love month, I wanted to share this fun news: I’ve updated my iPhone app Half-Orange Optimisms and in addition to making sure it works on all the iOS platforms and the newest iPhones, I’ve added a whopping 150 *brand new* thoughts to it. Which means the app now has more than 250 positive ideas to happy up your love life. Can you take it? I can barely take it.

Wait, do you know about this app yet? When it first launched along with my book Meeting Your Half-Orange, the iTunes store put it on the Hot List and it was recommended by The Daily News. You can find out more about the Half-Orange Optimisms app on the iTunes store. If you already have the app, be sure to update it to Version 2.0! And if you don’t have it, check it out. Because these are all original words of mine, and I wrote every single positive idea with happy love in mind. Here’s the gist:

Description

Do you sometimes feel discouraged with dating and love? If you could use a pep talk every now and then about yourself and your dating life, Half-Orange Optimisms is here.   Your “half-orange” (the translation of the Spanish term mi media naranja) describes your sweetheart and perfect other half. And the path to yours can be paved using dating optimism. Use them as a companion piece to the book Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match by Amy Spencer, or just dive into dating optimism on your own!

These are not reprints of quotes or lines you’ve read before. Half-Orange Optimisms are freshly original tips and insights that provide the dating optimism you want on demand! Like a Magic Eight Ball of love wisdom, they’re the words of dating and life encouragement you need to hear at the time you need to hear them.   Just ask for some sweet orange guidance, then shake the phone for the dose you need to turn on your positivity and draw the right person straight to you. And when an Optimism really hits home, email it to yourself or a good friend for an added boost.

  FEATURES:
• Over 250 original, unique Optimisms written by Amy Spencer.
• Get a new Optimism every time you shake.
• Optimisms are more than just inspiring quotes—they provide actionable suggestions and ideas for improving your relationship point of view.
• A bright animated 3D orange delivers your message.
• Email your favorite Optimisms to yourself or a friend. Or save one to paste in your Notes app, a post or a tweet! (Note: There is not a Saved Favorites page within the app.)
• Optimisms are for all singles—women and men, single or divorced, of every age. If you are seeking your other half or just want reminders to make the most of a love you have, these words are for you.  Your thoughts about dating can change your love life forever. Let Half-Orange Optimisms help you put your thoughts in a positive state of mind. Visit amyspencer.com to contact Amy and learn more about this app, as well as the books and the optimism that goes with it.

What’s New in Version 2.0

Big fixes and updates with this one! Cleaned out all the bugs and freshened it up, so it’s now working perfectly and up to date for all iOS and iPhones from the 4 on. Plus: I’ve added a whopping 150 *brand new* Optimisms in this version, so the app now offers more than 250 fresh, inspiring thoughts to enhance your gorgeous life even more.

Big love,

Posted in Being yourself, HAPPINESS HOW-TO, It is written, OPTIMISM WORKSHOP, Optimisms, THE OPTIMIST LIST | Comments Off on Give Yourself a Happy Love Gift

OPTIMISM WORKSHOP: How to Be More Positive! A Video Tip

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

People often say “I want to be more positive,” but they’re not sure how to actually make it happen, right? Well, I know how to make it happen.

The project: I’ll explain one subtle step to cut out some of the negative stuff you’re saying about your life and shift them toward the positive. You are what you eat and you are what you say. So make sure your words are giving you the best chance to for a happy life.

The plan: Watch this tip on how to eliminate one very important word from your vocabulary and replace it with language that can help you change your life for the better instead! (I’ve also posted this video in the “Video Tip” tab up over there for safe keeping.)

What you can do from here: Start small. Try this trick for one day, and I promise you’ll be amazed at how much possibility life seems to offer in front of you.. Once you start catching yourself using the Taboo buzzer word and replacing it with more positive ones, you’ll remember that anything really is possible. Then, watch the life and love you want happen!

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Let down your dating caution tape

Big love,

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OPTIMISM WORKSHOP: How NOT to Make a New Year’s “Love” Resolution

Wednesday, December 29th, 2010

Oh boy, right? It’s that time again.

After slurping down those cocktails...what about those resolutions? (Image: Amy Spencer, Samoa)

The time of year we start making super big plans and overly big promises so that come, oh, January 20th when we feel like we’ve been putting in all this effort and nothing’s come to fruition, we may as well eat a whole pizza on a duvet on the couch in front of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and cry our unaccomplished, unloved, hopeless selves to sleep.

Well not this year! Why? Because you’re going to make the right resolutions—at least when it comes to love. Let’s look at some of the possible ways you’ve resolved to find love before and how you’ll change it this year for the good. Follow this OPTIMISM WORKSHOP to alter your romantic resolutions for the better.

Here’s How Not to Make Your New Year’s Love Resolutions:

Don’t RESOLUTION #1: Resolve to “Find love this year.” Love isn’t the extra set of keys you placed behind the food processor and forgot about. It’s not something to be “found.” And setting off on a “search” won’t get you there.

Do: Resolve to be open for love this year. As a dating optimist, I believe that we don’t find love, love finds us. But it can only find us when we’re sending the signal that we’re open and ready for it.

Your Jan. 1st First Step: Instead of thinking inward about who’s done you wrong and what you want that’s right, focus your eyes upward and outward. Look at all the people out there on the street, in the stores, at parties or driving past you. The world is big and anything can happen! This year, keep your gaze set up and out so others can see how open you are to what might.

Don’t RESOLUTION #2: Resolve you will get them to like you, whatever it takes. Hey, I’ve been there, too. So certain that the guy I liked was a great match for me, and if I could just get him to see the same perfect picture in my imagination, we’d live happily ever after. The problem? You can’t make someone like you. And trying to in a grabby, beggy way will only push them further away.

Do: Resolve you will attract the right person for you. And I hate to be the one to tell you this, but if that person you like isn’t calling and texting and trying to get you into his or her life, then they’re not—right now, at least—the right person for you.

Your Jan. 1st First Step: Delete the phone number of that guy or girl who keeps blowing you off. Yes, delete. If you are still using energy thinking about how to make it happen with them, you’re distracting yourself from what’s going on right outside your own front door! Stop obsessing about the right-this-second person and start thinking about how you want to feel long term with the right-lifetime person.

That open boat? That open water? That's how open YOU can be for love. (Image: Amy Spencer, Samoa)

Don’t RESOLUTION #3: Resolve that “Enough is enough. Argh, this is the freaking year for love, dammit.” As I write about in Meeting Your Half-Orange, your intentions aren’t all that matters. What also counts is the tone of your voice and energy when you set your intentions. So if you’re coming at a relationship from a place of fed-up frustration, neediness or hopelessness, you’re not going to attract what you’re really looking for.

Do: Resolve that you’ll accept love when the time is right. Patience isn’t easy. I know this. I’ve watched pots boil and stared at phones waiting for them to ring and screamed at the sky asking why the thing I want so badly hasn’t come. But if trust that love will land on your doorstep when you and your future partner are ready for it—and ready for each other—you will be happier and more attractive for it.

Your Jan. 1st First Step: Write this on a Post-It: “We’ll meet when we’re both ready.” This will remind you that it’s not just you that’s waiting for your other half—your half-orange is also out there wondering what’s taking so long for you to arrive. Get ready by being your happiest, very best self so they’ll recognize you when they see you.

Those are my three biggest resolution fixes to help get you started this year. With this, I wish you the happiest, healthiest, love-iest New Year!

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Optimism Workshop: Build an Even Better Dreamboard

Big love,

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OPTIMISM WORKSHOP: Build An Even Better Dream Board

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Welcome to another edition of the Optimism Workshop!

The project: Make the most effective Dream Board you can, to offer a visual reminder of what you want to feel in your ideal relationship. As I discuss in Meeting Your Half-Orange, the more of your senses you incorporate while focusing on the relationship you want, the more your emotional brain will be able to tune in the right way to the world around you.

The plan: Two readers kindly sent me copies of their Dream Boards, and I’m going to post them here and comment on what I like best about them, and how you can gain from tactics they’ve done.

DREAM BOARD #1: This one’s from Susan, who also posted it on her blog, “because I’m fearless!” she said.

What I love most about it: I love that the image in the very center of the board is a path through a flower field, and seeing that brings a feeling of instant calm; it’s a great example of how useful it is to find an image like that that represents how you think your spirit or soul will feel with someone deep down. I also love the cartoon couples and puppets! I didn’t think of that when I did mine, but cartoons represent a lightness and fun that photos of real people simply can’t, and they take the pressure off of that “image” of a person you picture yourself with. And the words Susan used, like “floaty” and “happy” and “it makes perfect sense” are wonderful choices—because it will make perfect sense once you meet your other half.

DREAM BOARD #2: This is from another reader, who said, “I just read your book and loved it! I have a tip for those who aren’t into the cut-outs-and-glue dream boards: I made a “virtual” collage of images found on the web and use it as my screen saver. There’s no mess, no cleanup and I definitely look at it everyday!”

What I love most about it: That looks like a pretty damn fun life, doesn’t it? Natural and adventurous with feelings or actions of surfing, eating, holding hands, snuggling, hugging and having “Fun! Fun! Fun!” I love that on this board, there are so many images mixed in together, you get a true feeling at first glance: of pink romantic things and green healthy things and hugs and smiles and babies. I also love that there are numerous examples of how she’ll be interacting with her other half: feet intertwined under a blanket, a man’s hand on a pregnant belly, dancing at a wedding, hugging on the grass in early morning, running free as with a surfboard; it’s helpful to show images that don’t focus on faces like this, because this way you can relate to and remember the interaction you want, not the “image” of the person you think you’ll be with.

What you can do from here: If you haven’t already built a Dream Board of your ideal relationship—how you want to feel with your half-orange—now’s the time to start! If you have already made one, feel free to build on it. Our tastes and feelings change all the time, through life experiences we have, and people we meet. So take another look at yours and ask: What else do I want to feel that isn’t represented here? Or, flip through your favorite magazine today with your dream relationship in mind and ask: Is there anything in here that makes me smile and want this feeling for myself?

Keep building your dream board all the way along the path to your perfect other half. Then, the two of you can build one for your future together.

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Big love,

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OPTIMISM WORKSHOP: Your Big Love List!

Monday, May 17th, 2010

Welcome to the very first HALF-ORANGE OPTIMISM WORKSHOP!

Update your Big Love List! (Image: TheWritersWorkshop.net)

The project: Revising a Big Love List. One of the most important pieces to attracting your half-orange is knowing what kind of orange seed you want to plant—i.e. what kind of relationship you want in the first place. I walk you through the process in Meeting Your Half-Orange so some of you are now tackling your own lists.

The plan: I take one reader’s Big Love List and make some notes so you can see how to revise your own to bring your half-orange even sooner! Meghan, you see, asked for a little help with her list, and I thought it would be helpful to show you her list (with her permission) along with my thoughts on it. That way, you can help hone your own list so you know how to really work your Orange Buzz.

Here’s what Meghan wrote:

“I don’t know if I will ever know what I want fully…I guess this is a jumping off point. At the end of the day, I want someone who:

—Makes me feel I am the only person in the room
—Challenges me mentally, physically, emotionally
—Creates space for us to grow as a couple and for us as individually
—Can tolerate my family and reminds me that they are not what define me solely
—is honest, communicative, and authentic
—believes deeply in who he is and is open to pursuing his own emotional health
—is stable in his finances
—who makes me feel incredibly sexy, even when i am in my pjs
—is open to a spiritual journey
—finds the humor in the mundane and in the big events
—enjoys dogs and will put up the idiot one I own
—is adventurous, not only in travel, but in life
—can appreciate that I enjoy sports
—is a gentleman, yet respects my independence
—is educated and knows the importance of an education
—wants a family
—fights fair
—appreciates the arts and is willing to invest in them”

Here’s what I have to say about this list: I love it! I love the first item—because you should feel that special with your other half! I also love the idea of seeking a relationship with a man who is open to pursuing his emotional health, and with someone who will not only get along with your family, but support you with them. And of course I grinned when I read that he should find you sexy even in your PJs.

Really, it’s not up to me to comment on every item, because each of us wants something completely different from a partner and in a relationship.

But I do have one big suggestion, Meghan, and it’s this: Re-frame the list. As it is, this Big Love List is a checklist of what you want in a guy. You want a guy who is adventurous. A guy who is stable. A guy who appreciates the arts. But here’s the thing: You don’t want a guy…you want a relationship! This may sound like a small distinction, but as I explain in Meeting Your Half-Orange, it’s a big one! Let me explain:

—You don’t want a guy who “finds the humor in the mundane and big events.” What you want is a relationship in which you’ll laugh with your partner at the mundane and big events.

—You don’t want a guy who “is a gentleman.” What you want is a relationship in which you respect your partner and how he treats others, and in which you feel respected and appreciated for your independence.

—You don’t want a guy who “wants a family.” What you want is a relationship in which you have or create a family, with love, together.

See, when you put all of your focus on a guy, you’re taking the power and the energy out of yourself and focusing it on him. It’s kind of like you’re shining a flashlight beam out there to find that sole person who will be all of these things. Instead, flash the beam back toward yourself. Give yourself the power and the energy by tuning into how you want to feel in a relationship. Forget the guy…what will make you shine?

What you can do from here: Re-frame your Big Love List! This is for Meghan and anyone else open to love. On a piece of paper, write six to ten times: “I want a relationship in which I feel…” and fill in those blanks! Once you do this, you’ll notice a change in how you see the world around you. It will open up the world to you in incredible new ways! Once you revise your list, you’ll find yourself walking into parties or coffee shops and instead of scanning the guys to see if they appear to “fit” the guy you’ve built on this checklist, you’ll know that it’s about how you feel when you talk to him—and if he matches how you want to feel on your new list.

Big love,