2009 November — The Life Optimist

Archive for November, 2009

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Now, I’m no sports expert, but I heard a stat the other day that I loved so much, I have to pass it on.

Up or down, he does it swinging.

Never mind that I first heard about the stat from a contestant on Survivor named Russell who is so fun to watch, I’m counting the days until CBS on Thursday. And never mind that sports fans are all over the web arguing the finer points of Babe’s numbers and what they really mean. But the fact is this:

Babe Ruth was the greatest home run hitter of his time. But he also had a lot of strikeouts: He struck out nearly twice as much as he hit a home run.

To be specific, Babe hit 714 home runs and he had 1330 strikeouts. Of his up at bats, 24% resulted in strikeouts (compared to the league average of about 12%). It’s been pointed out that this is because it’s a strategy as a batter—that to make more big hits, you have to take more big swings. But that’s exactly the part I like best! It’s true in life, in love, in dating: If you want more big hits, you have to take more big swings.

You can take it literally if you want: That if you want to go on more dates, ask or accept more often. But it’s true in general, too. Put your spirit out there more, too. Put yourself out there in life. Step forward, out of the box. Show people who you are, proudly. Who cares if you miss or you blow it or some people don’t respond with total awe about who you really are? At least you’ll know that you’re putting your all into being you.

Bring the hope back into your life, each time you step up to your day. There’s only one way you’re going to get a home run out of it like Babe so often did, and that’s by swinging.

You might also like:
Embrace Your Embarrassments!

Big love,

Tags: Babe Ruth, home run, strikeout
Posted in In the big wild world, Optimisms | Comments Off on Babe Ruth: A Dating Strategy?

3 Sure Signs You WILL Find Someone!

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

One of my favorite single phrases—one I’ve uttered lots myself—was “I’m never going to find anyone.”

Your true match is out there, too! (Image: AS)

Your perfect match is out there, too! (Image: AS)

And if you’ve said it, you know it comes with the same exhausted tone you say other things like that: “I’m never going to get all this work done.” “I’m never having another drink as long as I live” or “I’m never going to live this down.” Of course, you know what happens: You get the work done. You have another drink (sometimes a Bloody Mary right then, to wash the pain of those last ones away). And because people’s attention spans are shorter than you think, you always live it down.

Which is why I know in love, you will find your half-orange. Here are three sure signs that I speak the truth:

1. You’re freaking, uh, awesome. Is there anyone else who talks like you? (Yet probably still hates the way you sound in a tape recording as much as you do?) Is there anyone else who dances like you, eats like you, sings, writes, or smirks like you? Not even close. You’re one of a kind. We all are. And every one of a kind has a great match to balance us out. You just may not have met yours yet. But as awesome as you are…you will.

2. You care enough to worry you won’t meet someone…which is a good sign! You know what they say: The true sign you’re over something (or some-dumb-ass-one) is not passionately saying you’re over it or them, but feeling true indifference. And indifference isn’t going to get you love. What will? Deeply desiring it in your heart and expecting you deserve. Your passion for love is a sign that when it comes, you’ll make it great.

3. The right person takes time. Dreams don’t happen overnight—as much as it may seem like they do. Hello, did you know that Katy Perry, the pop rock star, was signed and dumped by three record labels before she finally hit it big with her, ahem, “overnight” hit song “I Kissed a Girl”? Great things come with a little time, a lot of thought, and the stars aligning. So let this time you’re single teach you a few things about yourself each and every day, and look at the delay as a great sign that you’re not going to end up with just anyone—you’re going to end up with an absolutely perfect someone for you.

You might also like:
You’re So Hot
You’re Mad-About-Able

Big love,

Posted in Being yourself, Optimisms | Comments Off on 3 Sure Signs You WILL Find Someone!

Like “Ugly Betty”…Be Your Own Plus One!

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

I’m loving how good Ugly Betty is so far this season—and how cute they’ve let her look. Love the side swept bangs, right?

Betty makes a beautiful entrance (Image: ABC.com)

And this past week, I had to give it to Betty when she attended a charity function at her editor in chief’s apartment all by herself because she couldn’t find anyone to go with. Oh, Betty, have I been there…

At one point in the scene, she was sitting with her family saying that she’d rather stay home alone than walk into a party by herself. Luckily, her family changed her mind, and she dressed up as her most fab little self, showed up at the front door, and when they asked who was with her, Betty smiled and said:

“Just me. I’m my own plus one.”

Sure, she was feeling awkward and lonely and a bit like a loser. But guess what? We’ve all been in that place. We don’t come out of the womb in a happy relationship. We all come out alone. Then we learn to face the world strong and proud until we find that special someone who makes us shine even brighter.

And the next time you’re feeling like Betty—alone, adrift, awkward—do what she did. Find something you love and dive into it. For Betty, she found a song she loved, and danced the way you wanted to Billy Idol as he sang: “I was dancing with my self. If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance.”

Don’t walk through today or tomorrow hunting for a plus one. Decide like Betty did to be your own plus one. Find what makes you feel happy and fulfilled and ask the world to dance. Because that’s precisely what’s going to show your future plus one what a party in life you have ahead of you!

You might also like:
How I Met Your…Quirks

Big love,

Posted in It's on TV, Optimisms | Comments Off on Like “Ugly Betty”…Be Your Own Plus One!

Julianna Margulies: “All Moments Pass Quickly”

Monday, November 9th, 2009

I finally got to reading my November issue of O magazine this weekend. Loved, as usge. (That’s my attempt at shortening the phrase “as usual” with my keyboard—how’d I do? Hmm, I’ll keep working on it….)

O Magazine, November 2009

Anyway, I fell in love with how actress Julianna Margulies (who’s now in the CBS show The Good Wife which I wish I had time to watch more of) explains her Aha! moment. In her story, she tells the tale of how she was stuck awake one night with her crying 5 1/2 month old baby at 2 a.m. when she had a call-time for work at 6. As she panicked over how tired and anxious she was and would be, she says she remembered something her mother once told her:

“Honey, this is a moment. It’s not the rest of your life.”

Julianna explained that she began to feel better about her situation when she thought, basically, Yeah, sure, I’ll be tired tomorrow, but I’ll be fine in the end. And that the more she looked at those small passing moments in life, the more she began to appreciate them—the good and the bad.

Julianna in "The Good Wife" (Image: Eonline.com)

“My mother’s saying put things in perspective for me in a remarkable way,” wrote Juliana, “because it made me realize that all moments pass quickly, the good ones as well as the bad.”

The same is true for dating, you know. Those bad moments—the ones where you can’t find a single person to be your plus-one at a wedding, or you show up at a blind date and understand why your friend insisted it be “blind” in the first place—they pass. But the good moments pass quickly, too! That excitement bubbling up at lunch when you know you have a date later with someone you’ve been having great emails with; those butterfly moments when you actually want to kiss someone at the end of the night. It’s wonderful to have the big picture in mind about what kind of relationship you want in the future, but don’t let that make you lose sight of the now. Every day you’re still single is a passing moment in time, both for good and for bad. Truth be told, the worst stuff will be funny later, and the great stuff will make you wistful! So grasp and appreciate every part of it now, while you’re living it. For this, too, shall pass.

You might also like:
The Toils: A Good Thing!
Life’s Most Underrated Moment: The “Cusp”

Big love,

Tags: O magazine
Posted in In the big wild world, Optimisms | Comments Off on Julianna Margulies: “All Moments Pass Quickly”

Hang in There, Baby!

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Ever feel like this?

Hang in there, baby!

This hilarious photo of someone’s cat swinging on a ribbon absolutely kills me. I mean, how funny, right? I don’t actually know whose kitty it is; it came in one of those “funny animal photos” emails that I got from my Aunt Karen, and I commend the photographer for capturing it, and the kitty for being so darn cute.

When I saw it, it just made me think: This little cat may be freaked out, but it’s also having the time of it’s life. And isn’t that exactly what dating is like? Sometimes you’re freaked out, and sometimes you’re having the time of your life.

The next time you’re feeling as ungrounded and panicked as this wee kitty, just remember that if you hang on for a minute, you’ll get on the upswing again soon and realize that, you know what? You’re having the absolute time of your life. So hang in there, baby!

Big love,