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The Beauty of Loving

Wednesday, December 31st, 2014

I wanted to share something that warmed my heart.

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Twin Soul Poets, Hamilton and Ingrid, performing their poem “Loving”

I got an email from a gorgeous soul named Ingrid who said she read Meeting Your Half-Orange when she was in a difficult place emotionally and it shifted how she felt about herself and her dating future. As Ingrid put it:

“I had what I considered a breakthrough and an epiphany: ‘The man I’m waiting for already exists, he isn’t going to appear when I meet him. He’s already here, living his life. I don’t need to crane my neck looking for him at a bar or the grocery store. When it’s the right time for us to meet, he’ll show up!'” He did show up. And now the pair are making beautiful poetry together, literally. Ingrid and Hamilton call themselves the “Twin Soul Poets.” And here they are performing their moving poem Loving.

You never know where a partner will appear. You don’t know what he or she will look like, how they’ll sound, what they’ll say. But if you know how you want it to feel when you meet, you will draw your other half — your half-orange, your own twin soul — closer every day.

I hope this inspires you the way it did me. And I wish you all LOVING like this in your Beautiful New Year.

Big love,

Amy Signature 4

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The Weird Benefit of The “Never Date Again” Strategy

Friday, January 7th, 2011

The what?!? I mean, let’s be honest, this isn’t a strategy for people who want to be in a relationship, is it? Well, not for the most part, no. But when the idea came up on the most recent episode of Parenthood, I couldn’t help but see some dating optimism in one character’s funny anti-dating message. (Check out my other Parenthood post, too, Why You Must Put Yourself Out There.)

Julia and Sarah Braverman, who hang out for girl's night. (Image: NBC.com)

The scene: Sarah (Lauren Graham) walked into her lawyer sister Julia (Erika Christensen)’s office and announced she had a new plan. This is what Sarah said:

“I made a New Year’s resolution, one I can really keep. I have decided, I am never going to date anyone. ever. again. Right? Because I want to have fun this year, and my relationships are not fun. Ergo, to wit, don’t have any. (I’m using a little legal jargon there for your comfort.) I’m gonna do fun things. I’m gonna go to museums and, uh, you know, read more. I’m gonna have a girl’s night out with my sister.”

The girl’s night out ended up being a funny wine-fest in (followed by a morning in the kitchen that made me laugh out loud when Sarah said “We’re flavored-coffee-drinking losers!”). And Sarah didn’t change her feelings about dating during the episode. So what did I like about it?

I liked the wise idea to take the focus off of dating for a minute. The way I see it, your path toward love isn’t about the guy or girl you want in it; it’s about you. Don’t just find three people who will go out with you and schedule some quick dates for next week; instead, make sure you’re in a place where you are mad happy with who you are and excited about the prospect of sharing your awesome life with someone before you go on those three dates!

Sarah was just burned by love and may not be able to come at dating with an open mind just yet. But she has a great idea here. If you’re not wildly in love with your life yet—if you’re not giddy about the person you are and certain that the right guy or girl will be lucky as hell to be with you—then find a way to fall in love with your life. Do fun things. Go to a museum. Read more. Knit. Box. Mountain climb. Dance. Learn Italian. Volunteer. Go out with your friends to places you’re not likely to meet someone (uh, senior citizens Bingo night, anyone?) so you don’t feel the pressure to work it.

Find a way to feel damn great about who you are and what’s coming down the pike in love and you’ll attract your half-orange faster, and be ready as ever for them when you meet.

Right? Is there anything you can think of that you could do this week that would make you feel happier with your life? What would make you feel so proud of you, you couldn’t wait to date a great person to tell them all about it?

You might also like:

8 Reasons to Go Out Tonight!

Big love,

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“I’ve had a crush on a guy friend of mine, who just kissed me. I read your book and have used the philosophy in my life. Now, being with him is indescribable. I have to pinch myself. I know he and I could really work, I always have. But my question is, now what? What do I do if I think I’ve found my half-orange?” —Lisa

Monday, August 16th, 2010

What you do if you think you’ve found your half-orange? You sink into it and enjoy the moment! You enjoy yourself. I like to say that being with your half-orange will feel like you’ve had a soft landing in your living room, that you can put your feet up on the coffee table of the relationship. You no longer have to “try” too hard or act your best or be a certain way to impress this person—you can just be you, because that’s exactly who they want to be around. The more you’re you, the more they love you!

Being with your half-orange is not about questioning but about trusting and letting things fall into place. It’s freeing and fulfilling. You find yourself smiling more in a day because you’re actually happy—and lo and behold, people and your partner want to be a part of your life because you’re so happy. It’s all about being your best self and radiating a self-assuredness and confidence that is natural and ridiculously attractive.

Whatever happens from here, whether this friend of yours is meant to be your partner in love, remember this: There’s a reason for every relationship you have and for every wall you have to climb over. Each person we meet takes us one step closer to the person we’re meant to be for our healthy, half-orange relationship. And eventually, one of those people is your half-orange. I look forward to hearing that you (and others of you!) have indeed found yours.

—Amy

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