Optimisms
Cheering each other on
A Gleeful Reminder
People have been talking about the new show Glee so much (Wednesdays on FOX), I had to check it out. I am, after all, a former Glee Club member myself. Of course, we had to stand on bleachers in polyester red gowns when we sang “Eye of the Tiger” in six-part harmony. These kids have style.
Rachel (played by Lea Michele) knows what's special
Anyway, the show? Adorge. It’s an optimistic little story about some high-school outcasts with big hearts and beautiful voices (um, can we talk about the pipes on Amber Riley who plays Mercedes?!) who don’t get any respect from the sporty types at school. On this week’s “Acafellas” episode, the club hired a choreographer to create some contest-winning moves, but all he did was viciously call them various forms of useless. Just as they were about to quit, Rachel (who’d been told her nose was too big) stopped them with this:
“When Barbra Streisand was a young ingénue, they told her in order to be a star, she’d have to get a nose job. Thankfully, she refused . . . . Let’s face it. We’re never gonna be as good dancers as Vocal Adrenaline. We’re gonna win because…we’re different. And that’s what makes us special.”
It’s such a simple message, I know that. But I don’t think we can remind ourselves enough. We need to stop trying to fit into other people’s boxes once and for all—in work, in friendships, and in love. We may have spent our high school years trying to fit in, but real life is about standing out! You are unique and you are awesome, as is. And if someone isn’t into you, it’s not your problem, it’s theirs. I mean, really, if some fool can’t see how wonderful you are, then he or she loses the gift of getting to be with you, plain and simple. But don’t worry: your future partner is too smart a cookie to let you get away.
Remember, like the Glee girl said: We’re different. And that’s what makes us special.
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Big love,
What’s the Upside? The Tale of the “Halo”
My friend Brandon had a skiing accident some time ago that knocked his neck around and left him in a clunky metal “halo” that was screwed into his skull, its huge metal arms resting on his shoulders to keep his head from moving a millimeter. And it made him stand out in a crowd in a very Joan-Cusack-in-Sixteen Candles kind of way…
Can you find the upside to this?
Not that Brandon expected the attention, mind you. The first morning he went outside in public, he pulled on a pair of shorts and said, “Oh man, I’m so pale, do you think I’m going to look stupid?” We had to remind him, “Um, Brandon? They’re not gonna be looking at your legs….”
For many people, getting screwed into a halo would keep them home. Did it stop Brandon? Hells no! The first time I saw him, he was wobbling into a Hooters of all places, for wings and beer. He went on hikes, hit the beach, rode the ferris wheel and drank champagne cocktails at my husband’s art party at a loft downtown all while wrapped up in goofy sweatshirts cut open to fit over his contraption. And you know what I saw? Girls flocking to him like moths to flame, mice to cheese, Mad Men characters to cigarettes.
Brandon didn’t feel a bit sorry for himself, and it made the people around him feel the same way. What women saw when they spoke to him was a guy with a zest for life, a great sense of humor, and a spirit that would not be squashed, not even under the weight of a 20-pound chunk of metal. Instead of groaning about his halo, he had girls put flowers in it! Instead of focusing on the outside, he looked at the upside.
Making the most of a bad situation (Image: AS)
Brandon’s healed and free of his halo now, but his story sticks with me. I know, for instance, I used to pity myself at times when I was single—over my dried up dating life or the crappy day I had or the people who didn’t call me back. (Clearly, I should have read 11 Ways Being Single Beats Being in a Relationship!) But then I’d look at people who keep a positive attitude through far worse experiences, and I was reminded that no matter what life doles out, it’s our job to find the upside within us. Our life is what we make of it from the inside. Your wonderful attitude is what’s going to bring you the happiness you seek and the love you’re looking for. So find the upside. There’s nothing more attractive than an unstoppable optimist!
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Big love,
Why We All Deserve a “Rodger”!
Yep, still grinning along with The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo. And you don’t have to watch it to appreciate one character on the show who deserves a serious shout-out: Rachel’s husband Rodger.
Get yourself one of these! (Image: 12th Annual Webby Awards)
One thing I talk about in Meeting Your Half-Orange—and what I always encourage singles to think about—is how they want to feel in the relationship of their dreams. Do you want to feel…loved? Adored? Funny? Appreciated? Supported? Sometimes it helps to look at real people who represent the heart or character of someone you want in your life, to imagine yourself on the other side of how they’d make you feel. And if you’re a woman looking for a guy, you’d do well to learn from Rodger.
Have a Whitney Houston Wake-Up
I don’t know about you, but I had a countdown clock going for Part 1 of Whitney Houston’s interview on Oprah yesterday.
"I wanted that moment." (Image: Oprah.com)
And aside from the more shocking things in the interview—the sad scratch of her voice, her revelations about how she lost herself in her relationship with Bobby Brown—there was one thing Whitney said that really moved me. It was when she talked about how her fame had stolen something from her that she wanted to be able to get back: the simple moments in life that so many of us forget to appreciate. Here is what Whitney said: (more…)
Walk a Mile in Your True Shoes
If you’re having a dull day (Mondays, can you hear us?) or a string of bad dates, retail therapy—and by that I mean 75% off retail therapy—can work wonders.
And if shoes are your thing, you deserve to look and feel your well-heeled hottest. (To you guys, I do realize high heels are probably not your thing, but they look so cute in a picture, don’t they?) Whatever your pedate passion, let me ask you a bigger question about your next shoe-shopping trip: Are you buying shoes for who you are? Or for who you think you’re “supposed” to be?
Here’s why I ask that: When I was single, I bought myself more than a few pairs of unnecessary arch-aching stilettos that only went with, like, four things I owned. It was all part of my quest to be the sexiest single gal in the room. And while some shoes were absolute knock-outs, I mistakenly blew some money on styles that just weren’t me. It’s not good for your bank account, and it’s not good for your soul. I say, Buy shoes for the secure person you plan to be in your next relationship, not for the self-doubting person who may be trying to catch someone’s eye.
Picture the person you want to be in the relationship you want: Fiercely fun-loving and fabulous? Then go ahead, splurge on a killer pair of designer shoes. Are you looking for someone to hit the running path with? Ring up a pair of sneakers with rocket technology in the soles. Do you dream of walking the cobblestones of San Telmo in Buenos Aires with you? Get a pair of Vans or soft leather ballet flats. The way I see it, once you find a pair of shoes you feel like your best self in, you’ll literally be walking the walk of the right relationship.
Big love,
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