Optimisms

Today, you can get two blogs for the (free) price of one!

Don't marry your half-lemon!

In a special two-fer move today, I’m presenting a guest blog post from Anne Milford, one of the authors of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy, and posting a guest blog on their site, about “How to Meet the Right Guy After Not Marrying the Wrong One!”

The way we see it, before you can find the right partner—your perfect half-orange—you need to be willing to let go of the wrong one. And before you will let go, you need a strategy to find the right one. Today’s posts will give you both.

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How I Met my Half Orange

by Anne Milford

18 years ago I almost married my half, well… lemon. As much as I tried to convince myself he was right for me, he wasn’t. The relationship was a bit tart, slightly sour, and our two halves didn’t match up at all. Not even close.

My near-miss at the altar led to a book: How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy. Co-written with therapist Jennifer Gauvain, our mission is to help women get unstuck from the wrong guys. However, we’ve discovered that before most women are willing to let go of the wrong guy, they want to know: How will I find the right guy?

For answers, I dove into the self-help section. After reading dozens of horrible how-to-find-a-man-by-totally-changing-yourself books, I finally found one I love: Meeting Your Half-Orange. And what’s even better, I know first-hand that Amy Spencer’s sunny and positive approach works. How? Let me share the chain of events that brought in my own half-orange!

The week before I canceled the wedding, my sister’s fiance suggested a holiday ski trip. He thought a cozy lodge in Vermont would the perfect setting to get to know one another better. My then-fiance’s response: “I hate skiing.” His reaction distilled everything that was wrong about the relationship into  crystal-clear focus. I realized that family was not important to him.  I also knew I’d never go on another ski trip again. And hey, I love to ski. A tiny voice whispered that this might be my “only chance to get married” . . . and maybe I “should stay.” Fortunately, my gut feelings kicked in and I ended it.

The day I moved home was one of the best days of my life! I was vibrating with happiness. The stars aligned for me. Within days I found a fabulous job. I rented a sunny apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows—just like a tree house. Even my cats were happier! I went ice skating, celebrated, and bought a cool new bike. I was thrilled to be near family and friends again. I was truly, authentically, happily—me.

You can probably guess what happened next. Two months later, an old friend invited me to his brother’s wedding. I can still picture him standing in my doorway that night—mi media naranja. I know my positive, happy, energy led him to me. Coincidence? No way.

The lesson here is that I couldn’t have dreamed up the twists and turns that led the right guy to my doorstep…and neither can you. Just like Amy, I tell women that they need stop overanalyzing everything and start living it up. Optimistic magnetism will bring you the love you want. It sure worked for me. Sixteen years and three kids later, I am so grateful for my magical, loving, and compatible relationship.

And one final word about the ski trip. After our honeymoon, my cats and I moved into my husband’s apartment. A place that was breathtakingly located in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. His wedding gift to me? A brand new pair of skis.

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Thank you for sharing, Anne! And the rest of you: Have you had any near-misses when it came to almost marrying the wrong guy?

Now read my guest post on taking the first step toward meeting the right guy.

Big love,