Music makes the love go ’round

Cheering each other on

A Change is Gonna Come

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Damn, I’m a sucker for American Idol. Every year I swear I’m not going to watch the next season, because it sucks up too much of my time. And every year, I’m drawn to the TiVo’ed episode and think, “Well, okay, just one show of the tryouts…”

after-american-idol-its-time-for-vietnam-idol_14 And every year, yep, I’m not only hooked, but sitting in tears on my couch. Last night’s episode from the Chicago tryouts was no exception. I think I cried three times. Three times at American Freaking Idol. The clincher? The girl at the end who survived a dramatic asthma attack as a pre-teen and sang Sam Cooke for her tryout. Sigh. I love the idea of second chances in life.

I’ve always liked the Sam Cooke song, but since I’ve been talking to so many singles lately about the hope they have for the love that’s coming in their future, the lyrics stood out to me more than ever. If you’re single and ready to become a true dating optimist, if you’re determined that you will have love in your life—and not just any love, but an adoring, amazing, inspiring and special one—then keep Cooke’s words in mind as your very own:

It’s been a long, a long time coming.

But I know a change is gonna come, oh yes it will.

However long a time it’s been coming, if you want love in your life and you’re hellbent on getting it, you can. And the longer the wait’s been, the more you’ll appreciate it when it does.

A change is gonna come if you want it to.

Big love,

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No More Drama!

Friday, January 15th, 2010

When you’re single, sometimes drama really seems to come knockin’. You swear you don’t want any drama, you vow not to get involved with anyone who reeks of it, and the next thing you know, you’re in a weird situation, with somebody’s ex involved, texting to find out where you stand, and wondering how it all turned to drama in the first place! Sigh.

Well, maybe this should be the year of no more drama, once and for all. I was reminded of this earlier today when I was listening to a song I could not love more: Drama by Bobby Digital — who is, as my Wu Tang-loving husband has taught me, a character offshoot of Wu Tang member The Rza. (Am I getting this all right? I’m still in Wu Tang 101!)

The tune—featuring some guy named Monk and this cool-looking singer named Thea—has an amazing melody and even better lyrics, the best of which say this:

“I like to keep my head up to the sky and ask myself why it has to be this way.

I like to live my life in peace and health, not to worry about all the dramas of the day.”

If you haven’t already clicked on the link above to watch the video on You Tube, you should. Go ahead, I’ll be waiting right here. Even though the song is about the struggle of life in the hood, the message that rings through is for all of us who find ourselves struggling, striving and trying to live a happy life. I promise, you will love this song. In fact, I’m still unsure why this wasn’t a huge hit when it came out, but you’ll want to buy it. In fact you can get the song here on iTunes!

But more important, listen to the message: Stop focusing on the dramas of the day. Aim to live a life of health, peace and calm. Keep your head up and ask for it, and you can get it. And you’ll be so undramatically glad you did.

Big love,

Tags: Drama, Wu Tang
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Your U2 Moment of Surrender

Monday, October 26th, 2009

I went to the U2 concert in the Pasadena Rose Bowl last night. And man, it was a show in the U2 tent before we even set foot in the stadium: Ewan McGregor, Colin Farrell, Chris O’Donnell, Cindi Crawford, Barbra Streisand—Barbra Streisand!—Buzz Aldrin, Slash, Angie Harmon, Pierce Brosnan, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Herbie Hancock…definitely one of the wackiest collection of people I’ve seen in a while. And the actual concert?

Bono on U2's 360 tour (Image: U2.com)

Well, like all U2 concerts, it was a 100,000-crowd strong spectacle of light, sound, brilliance, and Bono leaping in circles around the stage. When The Streets Have No Name came on, there was no place in the world I wanted to be. All in a all, as usual, a perfectly awesome show.

I’ve listened to their album No Line on the Horizon lots this year, but the lyrics that struck me most last night were from the song they closed with, Moment of Surrender:

“Two souls too smart to be in the realm of certainty, even on our wedding day.

It’s not if I believe in love, it’s if love believes in me. Oh, believe in me.”

The reason I love that so much? Well, people who’ve fallen madly love—me included, I admit—often can’t help passing along those clichés like, “When you know, you know,” and “I didn’t doubt it for a single second.” And in ways, this is entirely true; when you do meet the right person—your true half-orange—he or she fits so perfectly with who you are, and it feels natural and obvious, that you do just know.

No Line on the Horizon

But the fact is, love isn’t black and white. It’s not a stock purchase with a straightforward “buy” or “sell.” It’s not a bungee jump, that you can’t take back after you leap. People do change their minds and do make mistakes and do back out after signing the marriage license. Like U2 points out, no two human beings can ever be entirely sure it will work out for good, forever. But love and marriage is about that leap of faith that it will. It’s about knowing, like Bono’s lyrics say, that you can’t be certain, even on your wedding day.

Which is why I believe it does matter if you believe in love. Your “moment of surrender” can only happen when you have enough faith in the love you have with the right person to take the leap. Aim for that, then. For that feeling that it’s okay to leap, it’s okay to surrender, it’s okay to put your love out there, because you’ll get it back in spades.

Big love,

Tags: Love, U2, wedding day
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Time to Undo An Un-Relationship?

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

ri lay’shun ship’: A loving connection with a person who brings out your best, makes you shine, and who cares about you as much as you care about him/her.

un-ri lay’shun ship’: A connection that’s anything else.

Now, we’ve all been sucked into vortexes of people who aren’t good for us in the long run: People who don’t call when they say they will, don’t say what we wish they would, don’t relate to us the way they should, and don’t respect us the way we deserve. I’ve been there, people. But when we finally wake up to the fact that we’re not getting what we want, it’s time to Undo the Un-Relationship!

And that’s where ScarJo comes in. Scarlett Johansson and Pete Yorn are apparently releasing an album in September called Break Up. Their first single is called Relator (which my mind reads as the word “realtor” every single time I look at it…yup, even now). But it’s worth listening to because I think it’s one of the most positive undoing of an un-relationship songs I know!

Click here to watch/listen to Relator:

Sometimes a break up is good for your soul

Sometimes un-relating is good for your soul!

See, most songs about this are about the after-effects of discovering someone isn’t right—you know, when you’re crying into your booze and wondering if rusty razor blades between your toes might not feel better. Very often, they’re wretched, lonely, moaning ballads meant to make you cry.

Relator also faces the sad fate of loss. The chorus itself says, “You can leave whenever you want out.” But the words come out in such happy chords, it reminds me of the other important feeling that comes with going your own way: The joy and freedom you feel after admitting someone isn’t right for you. Of course putting your foot down and walking away can be disappointing and disheartening in the short-run, but in the long run? This is great news for you and your heart! Better now than next year. Better today than tomorrow. Better alone for now than lonely with someone else for any longer.

If you have someone lingering on the back burner or popping in and out of your text in-box far too inconsistently, listen to this song as a reminder of how healthy letting go can can be for your soul! You deserve to be happy. And if the person you’re committed to/dating/seeing/texting/sort-of-hooking-up-with doesn’t make you feel like the best version of yourself, let go! If you’re thinking, like the song, “You don’t relate to me,” and “you don’t respect me,” it’s time to bow out, buck up, and make room for someone who appreciates you. Or, as ScarJo and Pete say, “You can leave whenever you want out.” (Besides, undoing un-relationships are so in right now.)

Greg and Amiira Behrendt said it well when they wrote, “It’s called a breakup because it’s broken.” And maybe this happy little song can remind you that you deserve a relationship that makes your soul sing as well as this duo does together. Those are my thoughts, anyway. Yours?

Big love,