Archive for July, 2010


Are You Looking For the Rainbows?

Monday, July 12th, 2010

You may have seen or heard about this video. A friend posted this on Facebook the other day, and I had a good laugh along with this guy as he discovers a double rainbow in his front yard, and doesn’t hold back his excitement.

Here’s the video:

Guy Gets Ecstatic Over Double Rainbow – Watch more Funny Videos

Yeah, he’s gone a bit bonkers with his enthusiasm, but I think it’s good for us to see and hear others in a state of total and utter happiness. This man is in awe, laughing, shouting and crying in joy over seeing a double rainbow in his front yard—a feeling so strong he basically has a spiritual experience with it (or, uh, some other experience.)

But guess what? That’s what life is about! Living for those times when you feel blessed and gloriously happy. If you haven’t felt something even close to this lately, I think it’s worth trying to find something that will make you “Ooh” and “Ahh” and “Oh my God” yourself to bliss. The more you do in life to feel this way, the more you’ll be connecting with your happiest self, which is what is going to draw the right partner to you. Look for the rainbows. And don’t hold back your excitement either.

Have you found something like that lately? What makes you as happy as you can be?

You might also like:
Boost Your Single Self-Confidence!
Wise Words from an Undone She

Big love,


Thursday, July 8th, 2010

Green PillYour dose for today…

“I don’t think I left because I’m a bad chef. I think I left because I had a bad day.”

—Tracey Bloom, from Top Chef D.C.

Don't let rejection drown you: Find the boat that floats (Image: AS)

A new episode of Top Chef D.C. aired last night, but this quote comes from the chef who packed her knives the week before. And I love it because it’s a reminder that rejection isn’t a stamp of future doom on our foreheads, it’s just a passing bump in time!

In life and love, if you get blown off, or dumped or not called back, or dismissed, it’s easy to take that in as a judgment of who you are. “I’m not worthy of the best,” you might think. Or, “No one else will want me either.” But Tracey’s experience is a perfect example of how to keep things in perspective. The next time you feel like you’ve been ousted, don’t take it as a sign that you’re not good enough, cute enough, sexy enough, talented enough or smart enough. Take it as a sign that maybe you were having a bad day—and they were suffering from a complete and utter lack of taste to appreciate you. It’s all in how you look at it. Just make sure you come out on Top. Your half-orange will sure think you do.

You might also like:
A Dating Lesson from Top Chef

Big love,

Amy Signature 4

How to Marry the Right Guy

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

Today, you can get two blogs for the (free) price of one!

Don't marry your half-lemon!

In a special two-fer move today, I’m presenting a guest blog post from Anne Milford, one of the authors of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy, and posting a guest blog on their site, about How to Meet the Right Guy After Not Marrying the Wrong One!”

The way we see it, before you can find the right partner—your perfect half-orange—you need to be willing to let go of the wrong one. And before you will let go, you need a strategy to find the right one. Today’s posts will give you both.

*     *     *     *     *

How I Met my Half Orange

by Anne Milford

18 years ago I almost married my half, well… lemon. As much as I tried to convince myself he was right for me, he wasn’t. The relationship was a bit tart, slightly sour, and our two halves didn’t match up at all. Not even close.

My near-miss at the altar led to a book: How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy. Co-written with therapist Jennifer Gauvain, our mission is to help women get unstuck from the wrong guys. However, we’ve discovered that before most women are willing to let go of the wrong guy, they want to know: How will I find the right guy?

For answers, I dove into the self-help section. After reading dozens of horrible how-to-find-a-man-by-totally-changing-yourself books, I finally found one I love: Meeting Your Half-Orange. And what’s even better, I know first-hand that Amy Spencer’s sunny and positive approach works. How? Let me share the chain of events that brought in my own half-orange!

The week before I canceled the wedding, my sister’s fiance suggested a holiday ski trip. He thought a cozy lodge in Vermont would the perfect setting to get to know one another better. My then-fiance’s response: “I hate skiing.” His reaction distilled everything that was wrong about the relationship into  crystal-clear focus. I realized that family was not important to him.  I also knew I’d never go on another ski trip again. And hey, I love to ski. A tiny voice whispered that this might be my “only chance to get married” . . . and maybe I “should stay.” Fortunately, my gut feelings kicked in and I ended it.

The day I moved home was one of the best days of my life! I was vibrating with happiness. The stars aligned for me. Within days I found a fabulous job. I rented a sunny apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows—just like a tree house. Even my cats were happier! I went ice skating, celebrated, and bought a cool new bike. I was thrilled to be near family and friends again. I was truly, authentically, happily—me.

You can probably guess what happened next. Two months later, an old friend invited me to his brother’s wedding. I can still picture him standing in my doorway that night—mi media naranja. I know my positive, happy, energy led him to me. Coincidence? No way.

The lesson here is that I couldn’t have dreamed up the twists and turns that led the right guy to my doorstep…and neither can you. Just like Amy, I tell women that they need stop overanalyzing everything and start living it up. Optimistic magnetism will bring you the love you want. It sure worked for me. Sixteen years and three kids later, I am so grateful for my magical, loving, and compatible relationship.

And one final word about the ski trip. After our honeymoon, my cats and I moved into my husband’s apartment. A place that was breathtakingly located in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. His wedding gift to me? A brand new pair of skis.

*     *     *     *     *

Thank you for sharing, Anne! And the rest of you: Have you had any near-misses when it came to almost marrying the wrong guy?

Now read my guest post on taking the first step toward meeting the right guy.

Big love,

Like Jake & Vienna: You Deserve More!

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

I don’t know about you, but I was glued to my TV last night to watch both The Bachelorette and the Break-Up Special with Jake and Vienna. And by the way, the hilarity of the concept of a “break-up special” is not lost on me. I feel bad saying I loved it, but I did. (I also loved when Chris Harrison barked “We don’t care about your dog” but the dog is irrelevant here, too.)

Learn from Jake and Vienna's undone relationship (Image:

As I watched them tell their sides of the story, I so wished that each of them were handling the relationship—and breakdown of it—differently. Yes, Jake seemed controlling and appeared to be hiding something darker behind that smirk; and Vienna, for her part, seemed steam-rolley and not entirely honest about her desires to end up famous in L.A. herself. But the truth is, what he said and what she said isn’t important. Who’s “right” isn’t important. Because a healthy relationship isn’t about being right, it’s about being happy.

I point this out because I’ve seen and heard from halves of couples who have experienced their own head-butting and total communication breakdowns who see that not as a deal breaker, but as a necessary part of navigating a relationship. Couples will drag themselves back through the same relationship hellfire with the same partner or others determined to stick it out and settle down. “Relationships are hard,” they say. “It takes work.” Sure, it takes work, and they can be hard to upkeep. But not as hard as last night. So what I say is that if you’re not married, you deserve more than putting up with your own Jake & Vienna breakdown…and so do Jake and Vienna!

You deserve a relationship in which you feel heard, respected and appreciated. You deserve a relationship in which your partner takes your word for it when you swear you don’t need a GPS to get to your destination, a relationship in which your opinion on where the bed should go in the room is weighed as much as theirs. You deserve a relationship in which your partner listens to you, laughs at your jokes, loves being with you and treats you like the special human being that you are. You deserve it all. So if you’re not feeling that you’ll get it—and that a “break-up special” is in your future—say no to that final rose. There’s so much more out there for you in love and I hope you get it.

You might also like:

Baseball and The Bachelor: Believe

Big love,

Let Them Let You Eat Cake!

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

I have cake on the brain today. Why? Because it’s my birthday!

Your half-orange will celebrate with you! Image: Francesco Marino /

And unlike people who see theirs as just another date on the calendar, I’m all about the fuss: the cards, the calls, the emails, the works. You want to send me a dancing gorilla with 100 balloons and an air horn? I’m game!

As I told my husband last night, “My birthday is my favorite day of the year.” When I asked him if he felt the same way about his own, he said, “No. Your birthday is my favorite day of the year.”

He was sort of kidding, but the truth is, he gets a kick out of how excited I get about it and does what he can to help me celebrate. And that’s a big deal to keep in mind in dating, too: Your half-orange will want to celebrate with you over what you hold dear. Really. Science says so. According to a study by Shelly Gable, PhD, psychology professor at the University of California at Santa Barbara, one of the most important habits in happy relationships is not just supporting one another when you’re going through a difficult time, but supporting someone’s good news, happy moments and successes.

Now, I realize having a birthday isn’t much of an accomplishment. But if you’re using your dating optimism, you’re feeling all sorts of excited about life, right? You’re trying new things, embracing your passions and making no apologies for the things you love. So ask yourself this: What makes you want to eat cake? Is it throwing a BBQ on the 4th of July? Toasting the anniversary of the day you met your weight loss goal? Playing fantasy baseball? Watching the debut of your favorite reality show? Whatever it is that makes you want to light some candles and pop some champagne, think about this when you’re out there dating and meeting potential partners. Is your date able to appreciate the good news and celebrations with you, to support how much you love what you love?

If you want cake, your half-orange will want to bake it, buy it or serve it to you. So be clear about what your favorite days are. I know I’m not holding back on this one…

Big love,