2010 February — The Life Optimist

Archive for February, 2010

Gordon Ramsey: Chef Optimist!

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

I do love me some Gordon Ramsey. And it was while watching the new season of the Kitchen Nightmares that I realized what an optimist he really is!

kitchennightmares And this latest episode—featuring the revamp of “Flamango’s” Florida-themed joint in New Jersey into upscale diner “The Junction”—revealed Chef Ramsey at his optimistic best.

It all hit when the mom running the restaurant, Adele, began fighting him on the changes he’d incorporated into the new restaurant. (What? A restauranteur disagreeing with him and making him curse?) Adele hated the new decor and theme, and made it clear to everyone in her path, “I hate it. I hate it.” Here’s what Gordon had to say about that.

“You can make this work if you believe in it. Already you don’t believe in it! Your negativity’s gonna rub off on your staff, it’s gonna rub off on your daughter, and the customers will be feeling it.”

Eventually, he and her husband got Adele smiling (or maybe the producers did) but it made me realize how similar his message is to dating optimism. The first step in making a successful restaurant work or attracting a successful relationship is believing that you can. Step one is believing you deserve it, and believing things will work out okay. Don’t let your fear that it might not, or a little negativity seep into your spirit and your dates. Gordon knows what happens when you do that and so do you!

Don’t let your love life be a Dating Nightmare: Because if you don’t believe in yourself and the love you’re going to find, who will?

You might also like:
Are You Stuck on a “Used To?”

Big love,

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Get Un-LOST: Nothing’s Irreversible

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

I promise not to write about Lost every single dang week for the next 18 episodes of the show’s final season. But last night was a big episode—the premiere of the final season—and it presented what will surely be a big final theme: What is reversible in life (decisions? mistakes in love? airplane crashes?) and what isn’t?

Locke: What can you change in your heart?

At the end of last season, we saw Juliet banging a hydrogen bomb meant to, well, flash the group through time. If it worked, then the plane that originally crashed them onto the island in the first place? It wouldn’t crash this time; it would land safely in L.A. It would reverse the entire island experience and reset them back to a normal life. Me being the terrible decision maker that I am (I can whittle options down, but I’m terrible at making a choice), I couldn’t decide which result I wanted to see. Did I want it to work or didn’t I? Well, God bless the Lost writers for giving us both. Like a Sliding Doors of airplane crashes, we get to see what would have happened if it did work, and if it didn’t.

Why am I telling you all this? Because of the greater message this gives us about life and love and dating. It’s a theme that was captured in a scene late in the episode when the “didn’t crash” versions of Jack and John Locke end up in the baggage claim room. Jack sees that John Locke is in a wheelchair, and says this:

Jack: Mind if I ask what happened to you? I’m sorry…I’m only asking because I’m a spinal surgeon. I didn’t mean to…

John Locke: Oh no, don’t worry about it. Uh, surgery isn’t going to do anything to help me. My condition is irreversible.

Jack: Nothing’s irreversible.

He then hands John Locke his business card and offers a free consult. What a cool idea for the show and what a powerful idea when it comes to love. I’ve had women and men tell me they feel as injured as Locke about love in so many different ways: “It’s too late for love,” they’ll tell me. Or “I’m never going to find anyone,” “I’m too messed up,” “I’m too set in my ways,” “I have trust issues,” or “I don’t think I’m meant to have a relationship.” They’re doing what Locke is: giving up and giving into it, because they feel no one can change their irreversible “condition.”

But I’m with Jack: Nothing is irreversible. Not in love, anyway. If you choose to spend your days focused on what’s happened to you or what’s been said to you or how you’ve been hurt in the past, well then, sure, of course it feels like you’ll never get out of that wheelchair and on your feet again in love. Instead, if you want love, face forward and see your singleness for the reversible condition it is.

Believe me when I say this: No matter what has happened to you in your life, nothing in your heart and mind is irreversible. If you want to be in a healthy, happy, fulfilling relationship, you can be—just as much as anyone else. You can get your legs back in love—just as soon as you start believing you can.

You might also like:
Retrieve Your “Lost” Optimism
Do You Have IDS (Irritable Dater Syndrome)?

Big love,

Tags: Lost
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4 Reasons To Read Meeting Your Half-Orange!

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010

Today’s the day! Yippee ki yay, MYHO-ers!

It’s the official launch of my book Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match!

The book is on shelves TODAY!

And I wanted to make sure you knew the true extent of how much the book can help your love and dating life—and that of your single friends, coworkers and cousins. Because it’s not merely a re-printing of the positive thoughts I find in life, in books, in music, and in reality television like High School Reunion. (Oh, the quality I pass on…)

The book is an actual step-by-step guide to using your optimism to draw the right person straight to you. If you really want to rocket yourself to the relationship of your dreams, the book will do it. Here’s why:

1. You’ll learn the science behind the optimism. Thinking positively feels great, but every once in a while, you can get to the place I once reached: “What the hell’s the point? I’ve been cheery about this whole dating thing and it’s gotten me nothing. I give up!” Well, thanks to the recent scientific discovery of neuroplasticity, we now know that our thoughts have a mind-changing effect on the neural activity and structure of our emotional brains. And once you understand how this works, you won’t think “What’s the point?” again. Instead, you’ll be driven to change your thoughts to change your dating life forever.

2. You’ll learn to fight your “I’m still single!” panic. You know that fear you have that you’re the only one who’s going to end up alone? You can kick that fear’s butt out the door for good and take charge of your hope and determination for love again. The book will tell you why and how.

3. You’ll get specific instructions on how to “choose your orange seed.” You want an awesomely wonderful relationship. But are you asking for it in the right way? In the book, I’ll tell you how you might be asking for your right relationship in the wrong way, and exactly how to ask for what you truly want and feel empowered to get it.

4. You’ll learn how to create the “orange buzz.” Feeling positive is one thing. But working up an emotionally charged orange buzz to “feed your seed”—that’s what’s going to turn you into a knock-‘em-dead relationship magnet. The orange buzz is the magic behind attracting your other half. When you learn how to create your orange buzz, you’ll literally become the relaxed, happy, glowing, confident person now that you want to feel in your dream relationship later. In fact, you’ll be so buzzing, your friends will ask, “What’s different about you?” Well, what’s different is that you’ll feel more amazing about yourself and your future relationship than you ever have before—and that’s exactly what’s going to naturally draw the right person straight to you.

Ready for your big relationship? Then pick up a copy from your local bookstore, or order the book from Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com or Borders.com or Powells.com today.

You can even read some excerpts from Meeting Your Half-Orange on the book’s website to get you even more pumped.

Big love and here’s to your half-orange!

Tags: Meeting Your Half-Orange
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Head to head: LOST vs. MYHO

Monday, February 1st, 2010

I’ve been joking that tomorrow, February 2nd, is such a big day for me, I don’t know what to be more excited about: The official launch of my book, Meeting Your Half-Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match, or the premiere of the final season of Lost on ABC! So which one’s better?

LOSTVMYHO

I mean, clearly the book means more to me personally, as I’m really proud of creating a book that can guide people toward one of the most wonderful things in the world: love. But on Tuesday night at 8 p.m.? Yeah, I’ll be tuned into ABC with a big bowl of popcorn to watch Lost.

The fact is, they’re both wonderful additions to the world and, believe it or not, have very similar gifts to offer. Which is why I’m putting Lost and my book head to head to see who comes out on top. Here, the battle begins:

LOST vs. MYHO (Meeting Your Half-Orange)

The survival

In LOST . . . we’ve watched the effects of flight Oceanic 815 crashing and burning that completely changed the lives of those who survived.

In MYHO . . . we’ve all had crash and burns in love, and we’ve survived and changed for the better.

The Winner: LOST

The mysteries

In LOST . . . we’ve learned about an island in the South Pacific, rife with powers that The Dharma Initiative was trying to understand. Their conclusion? Electromagnetism moved the island and can change the destiny of humanity.

In MYHO . . . you’ll learn about powers within yourself that neuroscientists have come to understand—that by changing your thoughts, you can change your brain and what you attract in your love life. My conclusion? Otimistic magnetism will move you toward the right relationship.

The Winner: MYHO

The miracles

In LOST . . . John Locke learned to walk again and Hurley knows what it feels like to really be in love with someone. Awww, Hurley.

In MYHO . . . everyone gets their love-legs back and learns to really be in love with someone.

The Winner: LOST

The insights

In LOST . . . you’ve gotten to see flashbacks and flash forwards, showing us what’s coming next.

In MYHO . . . you’ll learn how to use flash forwards in your favor: By visualizing yourself in the most adoring, awesome, weak-in-the-knees relationship, you’ll create the feelings that will ultimately lead you into that very relationship.

The Winner: MYHO

The love stories

In LOST . . . we’ve been able to watch the wildly adorable Jack and kick-ass Kate navigate their complicated attraction, while other couples grow closer from Sawyer and Juliette to Jin and Sun, Desmond and Penny, and the ever-adorable Rose and Bernard. (And for the record, if Jack and Kate don’t end up together at the end of this series, I’m going to sob myself to sleep. Call it a cliché ending if you want, I call it a happy one!)

In MYHO . . . you get to read about dozens of real kick-ass women and guys who found their other halves by being positive, optimistic and utterly determined that they would. And by the time you finish reading it, your happy ending will be on the way.

The Winner: MYHO

The cost

In LOST . . . the two-part pilot episode of the groundbreaking was reportedly the most expensive in ABC history, costing between $10 million and $14 million dollars!

In MYHO . . . the groundbreaking book costs only $15.61 if you order it now on Amazon.com.

The Winner: MYHO

The hope

In LOST . . . characters die and come back to life. Richard never ages. Jacob maybe lives forever, and hydrogen bombs may not be the end of everyone, but a whole new beginning for all the Lost characters.

In MYHO . . . you learn that the same miracles can happen. Your heart can come back to life. And the frustration and disappointment and difficulty you’ve been through in your dating life until now is not the end of a search for love—it’s a whole new beginning for you to find your other half. Your half-orange.

The Winner: MYHO

So, it was a tense battle with two worthy opponents. But the clear WINNER of the head to head is . . . drumroll please . . . MYHO: Meeting Your Half-Orange! (Phew, that would have been embarrassing if I, uh, lost.) For more information on the book, go to: Meeting Your Half-Orange.com

Big love and I really do hope you buy the book—and love it so much, you pass the word on!