There’s always such a big difference between Week One and Week Two in American Idol, isn’t there? The songs get a little longer. Kara gets so close to Simon she may as well be on his lap begging for him to have her. And the contestants get more confident and come out of their singing shells.

The key to life and love: Believability

This week, I loved how one girl, Michelle Delamour, came into her own. Michelle—who looks so much like my friend Angela it’s nutty—did a diva version of a Creed song. When she was through, Kara DioGuardi said it was her “favorite performance” of hers. Why? Kara explained:

It may have not been technically perfect, but it felt believable for once. You took a risk, you have a good attitude in this game. You listen and you’re trying. You believe in it, and I bought it.

This, I think, is how we should all aim to live and date. It’s not about being technically perfect in this lifetime of ours. It’s about being so true to ourselves that we’re believable.

If you’re looking to meet your half-orange, the last thing you want is to go on a date, fake your way through being more refined or laid back or lighthearted or serious than you really are, and then lose the chance to be with someone because they didn’t “believe” you. And that’s what happens when you spend time with people who aren’t being real or if you’re not real yourself: Things seem off. You don’t connect. The date goes “technically” okay, but there’s no spark.

Give yourself the chance to feel that spark! Don’t try to be someone you think the judges or your coworkers or your friends or your dates want you to be. The way to get a spark with other human beings in this world is to be real—to be as Kara said of Michelle, believable. Pretend this is your Week Two and let your real self show so you’ll really be able decide if you want to dial the numbers and keep each other around for another week.

You might also like:
Janet Jackson: Are You Doing You?
How I Met Your Mother’s “Take a Break From Dating” Technique

Big love,