Want to Be Where You’re Not? Learn from American Movie

October 13th, 2009

I finally saw American Movie for the first time. I know, I know, I’m ten years behind on the Chris Smith documentary about amateur Wisconsin filmmaker Mark Borchardt, who is determined to make his first feature-length horror film, Northwestern. Yet as passionate about it as he was, and as knowledgeable and well-spoken about the filmmaking process, Mark kept hitting a wall to success: his stars and extras kept backing out, his bills piling up, and his hopes kept getting dashed again and again.

At one point, his girlfriend Joan said this of his quest for fame and fortune:

He wants to be somewhere where he’s not. But then, don’t most people want to be somewhere where they’re not?

I found what she said so simple, yet so important. Sometimes,

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Tags: American Movie, frustrating, perseverence
Posted in At the movies, Optimisms

The Grey’s Way: How NOT to Get a Date!

October 12th, 2009

This past week on Grey’s Anatomy had a great lesson on how not to get the attention of the love you’re after. The scene was set when Dr. Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh) felt she wasn’t getting the surgical assignments she expected and felt she deserved as a talented resident.

Begging only gets you so far... (Actress Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang)

But instead of sitting back and focusing on something else, or in learning new things, Yang became desperate. Oh, and you know what happens when you become desperate…

Yang started asking every doctor if they needed help, even flirting with a doc she’d never worked with to beg her way into surgery. And the more she begged for a surgery rotation, the more turned off her superiors became, and the more they reached for other residents instead. I sure recognized my past in her actions—but when I used to do that, it was in bars or clubs where I had my sights set on snagging a date with a guy.

I know this is TV, but the fact is this: Desperation reeks in life, in work and in love. You’re allowed to

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Tags: desperate, Grey's Anatomy
Posted in Being yourself, It's on TV, Optimisms

Live Flirtatiously!

October 9th, 2009

My friend Maura Kelly has been writing a fabulous blog for Marie Claire magazine called “A Year of Living Flirtatiously.” Don’t you just love that?

Life could use a little more flirting (Image by Gusto, www.gallerygusto.com)

One of my favorite recent posts was one called “6 Tips For Flirting at a Party Full of Strangers.“ In that post, she tells how she met a blogger at a party and impulsively asked him out from across the room with a big smile on her face. Her friendly “what have you got to lose” approach worked like a charm! The next day, she posted this wonderful story called “What Do You Have to Lose If You Don’t Flirt? Everything!“ And this is some of what she passed on:

“Not to sound like a maniac or anything, but every time we miss a chance to meet someone, we miss an opportunity to change our lives!

The world is full of human potential. Brimming over with it! So, while we have world enough, and time, let’s get ourselves out there!

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Tags: carpe diem, Live Flirtatiously
Posted in Being yourself, In the big wild world, Optimisms

Gorge Yourself On Good Things!

October 8th, 2009

The other night, I went to one of my favorite places to eat: the Brazilian churrascaria Fogo de Chao.

Whatever your pleasure, feast on it.

I’m a meat girl in the grandest sense (I’ve ordered chicken for dessert before. Seriously.) And every now and then, I like to be able to have as much meat as I want in as many options as possible, from the pichanha to the lamb chop to the filet mignon to the pork loin, all on one big plate. I apologize to the vegetarians who find this unappealing, but the fact is, when I like something, once in a while, I want to gorge on it. And I realized that really? We should do this in life, too.

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Tags: churrascaria, gorging on life, Menu Dating
Posted in Eat your heart out!, In the big wild world, Optimisms

Wise Words from an Undone She

October 7th, 2009

I read Wally Lamb’s She’s Come Undone about a dozen years ago, and decided to pick up my weathered little copy for a re-read this month. If you’ve never read it, please do. I mean, hey, even Oprah likes it. (It was an Oprah’s Book Club Selection in 1997).

undone2-1 It’s a very powerful, funny and touching story about Dolores Price, who overcame her emotional eating, obesity, abuse, difficult family issues and a bunch of bad relationships before finally coming into her own. Thiis read had me choking back tears again…well, after wiping the ones that ran down onto my neck.

And this time around, I found one subtle part in particular very inspiring, when Dolores was talking to her mother about her reluctance to attend college. As “Dolores” writes:

I’m going to college in three weeks,” I said. “Maybe.”

“Why maybe?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll probably hate it.”

“Oh, go anyway. I usually learn more from the situations I hate than the ones I love, you know?”

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Tags: dolores, Oprah, she's come undone
Posted in It is written, Optimisms

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