It’s on TV

Cheering each other on

Monday, October 12th, 2009

This past week on Grey’s Anatomy had a great lesson on how not to get the attention of the love you’re after. The scene was set when Dr. Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh) felt she wasn’t getting the surgical assignments she expected and felt she deserved as a talented resident.

Begging only gets you so far... (Actress Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang)

But instead of sitting back and focusing on something else, or in learning new things, Yang became desperate. Oh, and you know what happens when you become desperate…

Yang started asking every doctor if they needed help, even flirting with a doc she’d never worked with to beg her way into surgery. And the more she begged for a surgery rotation, the more turned off her superiors became, and the more they reached for other residents instead. I sure recognized my past in her actions—but when I used to do that, it was in bars or clubs where I had my sights set on snagging a date with a guy.

I know this is TV, but the fact is this: Desperation reeks in life, in work and in love. You’re allowed to

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Tags: desperate, Grey's Anatomy
Posted in Being yourself, It's on TV, Optimisms | Comments Off on The Grey’s Way: How NOT to Get a Date!

Oh, Sherri: Her Lessons in Love!

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

So I had to watch Sherri last night (on Lifetime)—those previews of Sherri Shepherd slinging hilarious one-liners sent me straight to the DiVo record button. And I have to say, I thought the show was really funny and really sweet. I actually laughed out loud a few times, and how often does that happen from a supine position on the couch…

Go, Sherri! (Image: MyLifetime.com)

What I loved most about it? Sherri came off as strong, wise and funny as hell, but she also showed us that side we all have: when you’re unsure of what’s coming next. When you’re tired of being beat down by life, of being sad or single. When you just want to put your head on your dad’s shoulder and say, “I need a pep talk.”

In fact, let’s let the show give us a pep talk, because what I saw were some great lessons about life and love:

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Tags: frustrating, have faith, hope, self-doubting, sherri, you can control your attitude
Posted in It's on TV, Optimisms | Comments Off on Oh, Sherri: Her Lessons in Love!

How I Met Your…Quirks

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

If you don’t watch How I Met Your Mother (Mondays on CBS), you’re missing out on some big laughs. It’s a refreshingly un-reality-based sitcom that’s not only full of brilliantly current writing, but also some surprisingly deep insights about life, dating and love.

Ted (played by Josh Radnor) makes a smart speech (Image: CBS.com)

Last night, for example, Ted ended up on a blind date with the same exact person seven years later. It took both of them a minute to realize, “We’ve been on this date before!” Yet, as true optimists who decided to gain something good from their date no matter what, they took turns telling each other what turned them off about each other the first time around so they could learn about themselves for the future—i.e. she didn’t like that Ted pointed out typos in the menu and made a lame joke about how not sharing the oysters would be “shellfish.” He didn’t like that she likes to dress her cats in costumes. In the end [SPOILER ALERT!], as the pair tried to figure out whether or not to have a go of it this time, Ted said this to his date:

I just remembered why I didn’t call you. I like finding typos in menus. And I know my shellfish pun is stupid, but the truth is, I’m not suddenly going to stop making stupid jokes. Shouldn’t we hold out for the person who doesn’t just tolerate our little quirks, but actually kinda likes them?

Yes yes yessss! I know that some people love to say that choosing a partner is all about compromise, but as I say in Meeting Your Half-Orange, it’s about possibly compromising later—once you’ve found someone you feel is compromising for. But you shouldn’t have to compromise who you are. You shouldn’t feel you have to hold back saying things, or feel you’re not allowed to love your cats, or think it’s no big deal if someone doesn’t get your jokes. Why? Because it’s a big deal if someone doesn’t get your jokes!

Your jokes are a representation of who you are. What you find funny is a combination of what you’ve learned in life, how your brain works, what your heart feels and what will make you laugh every single day for the rest of your life. Do you really think it’s okay to settle for someone who doesn’t get what makes you laugh for the rest of your life? Nothing comes between Brooke and her Calvins and nothing should come between you and what makes you laugh. Period.

So do as Ted says: Hold out for the person who doesn’t just tolerate your quirks, but absolutely definitely likes them. Because when you’re totally being who you are, that’s when you’ll meet the person who’s totally right for you.

You might also like:
Mad Men: More Than Eye Candy
A Gleeful Reminder

Big love,

Tags: blind date, How I Met Your Mother, optimism, sense of humor
Posted in It's on TV, Optimisms | Comments Off on How I Met Your…Quirks

TimWow is Available Now!

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

I got a pitch this morning that I just had to share: It’s the story about embracing the humor you need to survive the ups and downs of a search for a mate. It’s the story of “TimWow!”

Tim Goggin, you see, is a 32-year-old single guy in San Diego who was getting so frustrated with dating, he decided to take a bold approach to find the right woman for him by creating an infomercial…on himself! The tactic is hilarious, and the gesture reminded me of something all daters should remember: There are great, smart, kind, lovable, funny people out there looking for relationships. And you never know, you may meet the right one for you in the most surprising way! Watch Tim’s infomercial here:

As Tim says, “Regardless of who you are, finding the love of our life is never easy. Dating is a crazy, bizarre, and wild adventure. That’s why I created this.” It seemed, he says, “the best, most unique medium to reach the right woman.” And though his hard work and passion may be what’s kept him out of the dating game for a while, he hopes it will charm the right woman to him now. “The more you accomplish in your life, the more passions you have, the harder it is to find a partner to match you in those passions,” says Tim. “I need a spectacular woman and I think this might be just the way to meet her.”

You can see more about Tim on his website TimWow.com. If Tim’s your type, act now to get your FREE gift! And even if he isn’t, let his move remind you a few important messages: You’re not alone in wanting love. There are plenty of great single people out there like you with big hearts and great imaginations. And, really, who says you won’t meet your half-orange in an unusually unique “As Seen on TV” kind of way?

In the meantime, while you’re waiting for your dream relationship to come a-knockin’, keep your sense of humor the way Tim has. A good laugh will make your life more worth loving. So will that new Mighty Putty Super Powered Epoxy for home projects big and small, I bet. But the laugh will feel much better.

You might also like:
Time to Un-do an Unrelationship?

Big love and happy viewing,

Tags: adventure, dating, humor, informercial, TimWow
Posted in It's on TV, Optimisms, With a little help from your friends | Comments Off on TimWow is Available Now!

A Gleeful Reminder

Friday, September 18th, 2009

People have been talking about the new show Glee so much (Wednesdays on FOX), I had to check it out. I am, after all, a former Glee Club member myself. Of course, we had to stand on bleachers in polyester red gowns when we sang “Eye of the Tiger” in six-part harmony. These kids have style.

Rachel (played by Lea Michele) celebrated their style (Image: Hulu/Fox)

Rachel (played by Lea Michele) knows what's special

Anyway, the show? Adorge. It’s an optimistic little story about some high-school outcasts with big hearts and beautiful voices (um, can we talk about the pipes on Amber Riley who plays Mercedes?!) who don’t get any respect from the sporty types at school. On this week’s “Acafellas” episode, the club hired a choreographer to create some contest-winning moves, but all he did was viciously call them various forms of useless. Just as they were about to quit, Rachel (who’d been told her nose was too big) stopped them with this:

“When Barbra Streisand was a young ingénue, they told her in order to be a star, she’d have to get a nose job. Thankfully, she refused . . . . Let’s face it. We’re never gonna be as good dancers as Vocal Adrenaline. We’re gonna win because…we’re different. And that’s what makes us special.”

It’s such a simple message, I know that. But I don’t think we can remind ourselves enough. We need to stop trying to fit into other people’s boxes once and for all—in work, in friendships, and in love. We may have spent our high school years trying to fit in, but real life is about standing out! You are unique and you are awesome, as is. And if someone isn’t into you, it’s not your problem, it’s theirs. I mean, really, if some fool can’t see how wonderful you are, then he or she loses the gift of getting to be with you, plain and simple. But don’t worry: your future partner is too smart a cookie to let you get away.

Remember, like the Glee girl said: We’re different. And that’s what makes us special.

You might also like:
Mad Men: More than Eye Candy
A Dating Lesson from Top Chef

Big love,