The Suitcase Feeling: Do You Have It?

This past weekend, I headed to New York to appear on the CBS Early Show to talk about Meeting Your Half-Orange. I’ll talk more about our topic soon—the idea of dating optimism and asking for what you want in love versus settling for something “good enough” just so you don’t end up alone. You know where I stand on that one!

Doesn't "your" suitcase seem different from the others?

After the appearance, though, I spent the rest of the weekend with some of my best friends and my family, who still live there. And it was then that I realized how good it feels to be among people you can really settle in with, who feel like home. And as I said to one single friend of mine, that’s how you want to feel with your half-orange: like you’re home.

I had a similar experience when I landed back in L.A., which I now call home. I was at the baggage carousel waiting for my luggage (yes, I check my bags! I like letting go of things for a few hours, the feeling of lightness when it’s just me, my wallet and my laptop without all the “baggage”). I was watching the suitcases circling past me on the belt, noticing how many small black rolley-bags looked so similar to mine. And yet, when I saw my bag come around the bend, I had an instant feeling of “Ahhh, there it is.” To every other eye there, my bag looked exactly like the rest, save for the red fabric I’d tied around the handle. But to me, my suitcase stood out. It felt like home.

This, dating optimists, is what the right relationship will feel like. Maybe you’ll feel it in the first five minutes, maybe it’ll take a few dates or a moment of discovery that someone you’ve known for years is actually the person who’s right for you. However you notice it, that’s the feeling you want. Like my suitcase, your other half may “look” like a lot of others out there. He or she may be as tall as, or in the same job as, or as similar as some other people, but to you, they’ll stand out as special, as someone you can relax with and be yourself, the way you do at home.

I wish you the suitcase feeling. It’s what will carry you through a great relationship together in life. Don’t settle unless you get it.

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Big love,