How to Be Single on Valentine’s Day

When I was single, I was a little bitter about Valentine’s Day.

Even Dunkin' Donuts gets the love bug. (Image: Amy Spencer)

Oh, I loved the days leading up to it, when the future beamed bright with possibility, when any minute I might get some flowers from a secret admirer, a call to be asked out on a date, a surprise invite to a special dinner. But then D-Day—uh, I mean V-Day—would arrive. Ugh, right?

Because there I’d be, single as usual. And while I was already feeling extra lonely, I then had to spend the whole day and night watching couples who had what I desperately wanted flaunting it in my face all day long: kissing, hugging, holding hands, feeding each other candy. It was like a cruel holiday invented just to torture people. It’s like a holiday called “Totally Rolling In It Day” where rich people walk the streets with wads of cash, throwing it into the air and laughing. Who could be so cruel?

Well, never mind all them. If you’re single, you can still have a fab, fun Valentine’s Day! Here are my four big DO’s and DON’Ts for how to celebrate Valentine’s Day solo:

1. DON’T talk about how much you hate Valentine’s Day! I know, I know. You want to spend all day talking how stupid this dang day is. Don’t. Don’t moan and groan. Don’t stick your figurative tongue out or your finger up at it. If you DO, any hopes you of attracting someone positively to you personality are sure being pushed away with a negative attitude like that. You don’t have to love it, but you’re only hurting yourself if you verbally hate it.

2. DO celebrate love. Right now you may not have a special other half in romance, but you have love in your life. And you want more of it in your life, right? So get with people you do love—your friends, your family—and give them your Valentine’s attention. Tell them why you love them and tune into how you feel when you do. Then think: That is how you want to feel in your ideal relationship.

3. When you see other couples, DON’T hate on them. As nauseating as they are with all that smoochy PDA, instead of wanting to strangle them, look at them, smile and say, “That will be me. That will be me.” Someday, you know, you’ll be that couple holding hands and smooching with other singles growling at you. Spread the love.

4. DO buy yourself flowers. Like all things in life, you deserve to have joy and gifts and love and beauty—and you don’t need to wait around for someone else to give it all to you. Give the gifts of life to yourself. Especially flowers. Put a bouquet on your desk or dining table today and let it be a reminder that you want the same feeling in a relationship: Something bright, fresh and warm that you love looking at…and that smells pretty good, too.

Now, if you do have a Valentine this year and you want to make the most optimistic choices with and for them, check out two heart-shaped stories of mine on the topic: How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day on a Budget on my personal blog, and my brand new story for Match.com’s Happen Magazine called How to Have a Long-Distance Valentines’s Day.

If you can think of any other optimistic ideas for how to celebrate the day solo, let me know!

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Have an Optimistic Valentine’s Day!