It’s probably more likely that you women will know about the film I’m about to mention, but I found a love lesson in it that’s worth passing on to all of you.

Filmmakers Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake

The movie? Ricki Lake’s The Business of Being Born. It’s an incredible documentary film about childbirth and how hospitals handle it in our culture these days. I watched it a few months ago, and came across it recently. And this time, I was moved by the words of one female expert, who said this about natural childbirth compared to a surgical C-section that I wanted to pass on.

“You get the highest oxytocin rush you’ll ever have in your life when you give birth naturally. You will go into an altered state of consciousness, and in a kind of a state of “Yes, there’s bliss” and “Yes, there’s pain” and it’s all tied up together and you cannot have the bliss without the pain.”

Now, I haven’t had a kid yet and would like to, and after seeing this film, the idea of natural childbirth sounds amazing—but, hey, we’ll see what happens when those labor pains start hitting and like every other woman, I want to shout “Get the druuuuuugs!”

But this isn’t a post about childbirth. This is a post about dating. Because there is no C-section for dating. There is no magical, surgical, pain-free version of finding love. Dating is a natural process we all have to struggle through to make it to the other side and find love. And yes, there’s bliss and yes, there’s pain, and it’s all tied up together. You cannot have one without the other. Without a little heartbreak or rejection by the wrong person, how would you ever be freed up for the right one?

So just remember that if you feel a little pain coming. It’s like labor. It’ll come in spurts, and it’ll hurt, but it’s all a sign that at the end of that road is a blissful, incredible loving relationship that is so worth it—that sends such a rush of oxytocin through your body and soul—that you won’t remember a lick of the pain it took to get you there. The bliss makes it all worth it.

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Big love,