Michael J. Fox has a new book out, called Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, and he’s been appearing on TV to promote it recently. He said something on Oprah a few weeks ago that I haven’t stopped thinking about since.

I’m paraphrasing here, but what he said on that episode was essentially: “You can’t choose everything that happens to you, but you can choose how you respond to it.” In Michael’s case, he was talking about how he can’t control his Parkinson’s Disease, but he can control how he feels when he eats breakfast, or meets new people, or thinks about his condition. Well, in a much less physical way, you can think about your singleness and dating the same way.

No, you may not have “that someone” in your life right now, and you may not feel you can control that. (I beg to differ, and will tell you how to completely take back control in my book.) But one thing you can control right now is your attitude. You can control if you smile or not today, if you decide to go on that blind date or not, and if you decide to gain something positive from having drinks with a new guy…or not. The next time you feel helplessly bummed the heck out, look for a minute at what you can control. Your singleness is not a be-all, end-all. It’s a temporary state of being. So change how you feel about it today—just today—and realize that your happiness and future really is in your hands.

Big love,