This past week on Grey’s Anatomy had a great lesson on how not to get the attention of the love you’re after. The scene was set when Dr. Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh) felt she wasn’t getting the surgical assignments she expected and felt she deserved as a talented resident.

Begging only gets you so far... (Actress Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang)

But instead of sitting back and focusing on something else, or in learning new things, Yang became desperate. Oh, and you know what happens when you become desperate…

Yang started asking every doctor if they needed help, even flirting with a doc she’d never worked with to beg her way into surgery. And the more she begged for a surgery rotation, the more turned off her superiors became, and the more they reached for other residents instead. I sure recognized my past in her actions—but when I used to do that, it was in bars or clubs where I had my sights set on snagging a date with a guy.

I know this is TV, but the fact is this: Desperation reeks in life, in work and in love. You’re allowed to

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