I’ve been working on optimism for nearly 5 months now. I’ve actually surprised myself with how well I’ve done, because it’s been so easy for me to be a pessimist. In working for so long on it and thinking all the good thoughts…when is it going to pay off? I get that you need to have faith and keep going, but once in awhile, it gets hard when you are just picturing and thinking things without living them and enjoying the result. How do you keep your hopes up some days, when you don’t know when your half-orange is going to come along after such a long wait already?

This is a question I got on a post the other day, and I answered in the comments box. But since I’ve gotten a question like this before and others may be thinking it, I thought I’d give it a proper answer here. Because, M, it’s a great one!

Really, it sounds to me like it’s already paying off—especially if you’re someone who tended to go pessimistic with your thoughts. You may not have met your half-orange yet, but dating optimism isn’t just about the end result, it’s also about how good you feel along the way. I totally get that you’re tired of feeling positive. I was there, too. And if you’d prefer to sometimes crawl under a pillow and be bummed, it’s healthy to let yourself. But let go of the pressure, too. If you’ve put your big intention out there—to end up in a happy, healthy relationship—now’s the part of the process when you can sit back, enjoy life, and let the world bring it to you.

I guess what I’m saying is that even if you’re not “doing” optimism one day, it doesn’t mean what you’ve put out there isn’t already working for you. It is! Give yourself a break. Keep putting a small intention out there every day of what you want, and understand that it sometimes takes the world a minute to get you two guys in the right place at the right time for each other. It will happen. In the meantime, the result of your optimism doesn’t just come in the form of a guy. It comes in the form of a happier life, fuller friendships, appreciating this moment in your life, reaching goals, learning new things, meeting new people, and feeling more in love with yourself and your life than ever! And that version of you, your best self, is the one your other half will meet and fall in love with.


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