“I met an attractive and intelligent woman and we seemed to be hitting it off. Then I commented that she had a ‘really nice hourglass figure’ and she told me I was being inappropriate and–WHAP!–she slapped me! Should I send her an apology note?” —K.

Hi K.,

Well that’s an odd exchange for sure! In short, I guess I’d say it can’t hurt to email her to apologize, but you shouldn’t expect her to write back with a chipper reply.

I can understand her finding the “hourglass figure” compliment not 100% flattering, but if you were truly complimenting her, I’m surprised it turned out that way. I’m guessing it was a “you had to be there” moment in which perhaps your tone wasn’t coming across the way you meant it. Or, perhaps she had insecurity issues about her figure to start with that led the conversation to go so haywire. I mean…a slap?! That’s very strange. So I’m guessing she thought you were making fun of her or messing with her in some way. That’s what a slap would be for: if she was sensing disrespect. In your version of the story, I don’t feel that you were disrespecting her, but her version might be different. These “He Said She Said” stories are tough!

So, that all said, if it makes you feel better to email her and apologize for inadvertently hurting her feelings, I think you should go ahead and do it. It sounds like one of those things that might eat at you if you don’t. But expect that she might ignore it or even give you another “verbal” slap. Who knows, it could turn out great, but just don’t expect it to. So I’d keep it short and sweet if you send it. Do it for yourself and not for what you expect from her in return.

And I guess this one goes down in your books as a reminder that when you compliment a woman next time, you keep it entirely, completely, utterly positive!


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