Give Up? Don’t You Dare!

You don’t have to eat dessert like a grown-up. Nor do you have to dance, sing or play in a swimming pool with wacky foam noodles like one. But when it comes to dating? Yeah, a good healthy serving of adulthood is recommended.

Save the kids stuff for dessert! (Image: Simon Howden /

Which is why today I want to give a shout-out to Bobbi Palmer, an awesome woman whose story appeared in my book, Meeting Your Half-Orange.

Bobbi was so changed by finding love, she began the love coaching company Date Like a Grown-Up and recently wrote an eBook called Confessions of the World’s Worst Dater: Her 7 Secrets to Finally Finding Love After 40.

In it, she says more than a few things I agree with, and here is one I want to highlight. Writes Bobbi:

How many times have you said “I want to meet a fantastic man/the love of my life/my life partner” and then ended the sentence with “but I don’t know how” or “but I’m unlucky in love” or “but my man just isn’t out there.” If you hear yourself saying these things, regardless of whether you are dating or not, I believe that you have essentially given up. You are quashing your true desire. And without this earnest wish, your chance of achieving it is greatly diminished.

When you want something—really want it—you do what you need to do to get it. When you decide—or even act like—it’s unattainable, you stop trying.”

I’m with Bobbi Palmer! It may seem like a blasé utterance when you wave your hand through the air and say, “Oy, I’m unlucky in love.” But the more you say it, the more you will believe it, and the less you’ll try to change your supposed “bad luck.” But remember: We are what we say and we get what we ask for! If you wanted a great bowl of ice cream or a job you knew you deserved, you wouldn’t wave it away—you’d ask for it and make all your wishes come true!

So from now on, do the same with love. Say, “I want to meet a fantastic life partner and I know it’ll happen for me.” You don’t have to believe it at first; talk yourself into it. With a little time and, as Bobbi says, that “earnest wish” that it really happens, you open the door to letting love in.

You might also like:
Letters to Your Future Husband (or Wife)
Want to Be Where You’re Not? Lesson From American Movie

Big love,