When I was single, I found myself working very hard when I went out to make as many guys like me as possible.
I’d laugh, I’d drink, I’d flirt, I’d charm and I’d do my damndest to get the guy to like me so that I could start figuring out if I liked them in return. But whoa, right? Do you see how much work I was putting myself through? That’s like spending the week charming the pants off of every boss at every job in every office in every building on the block and then deciding what kind of job you want in the first place.
What I started doing in dating was that I stopped interviewing for love. Dating, after all, isn’t a job interview. Dating isn’t about needling your way into an office between the times you get to have fun. Dating is supposed to be the having fun part!
So if you catch yourself asking questions about your date like you’re filling out a pro/con list, or catch yourself selling your talents to get them to “hire” you in the first place, step back. Slow down, breathe deeply, and rethink what you’re here for! You want to pick the job you want before you interview, and you want to know how you want to feel in love before you get out there and start looking for it.
As I say in Meeting Your Half-Orange, you would dress the part you want to have in work before you’ll be considered for the job, so start dressing the part in love, too. You don’t need to get every guy or girl you meet to like you, you just have to be your best self so that the one guy or girl who’s most right for you will recognize you as the one for them. It’s not as much “work” as you think. Just be yourself, love yourself and let the best part of you show. The world will take on the job to do the rest.
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Big love,