2011 December — The Life Optimist

Archive for December, 2011

Pick Your Positive Manifesto!

Wednesday, December 21st, 2011

I guess it’s a thing to make a list of how to live a happy life. Because a lot of people have done it. So many, that I loved this post on LifeHack.org called 10 Insanely Awesome Inspirational Manifestos!

The Lululemon Life Manifesto

There are 10 sometimes-similar but also fantastically different ideas here, from The Holstee Manifesto you’ve probably seen, to Frank Lloyd Wright’s manifesto that The Happiness Project’s Gretchen Rubin wrote about—and speaking of, Gretchen’s a great manifesto inspiration, too!

So, scroll through, pick your favorite, and post it on your cork board or computer desktop to refer to everyday.

Here’s why: If you have a daily reminder to live life the way you want to—with the right To Dos on top—you’ll reach the end of the year really feeling like you’ve accomplished something. Because whether or not you’ve found a relationship, gotten a promotion, or saved the money you intended to, living as authentically, kindly, and generously as you can is the greatest achievement there is.

The Happy Way to Deal with Rejection

Friday, December 16th, 2011

A book from a girl who walks the walk.

I recently finished reading a super quirky book called Elf Girl: A Memoir by “Reverend Jen” Miller. She’s a Lower East Side artist, performer and author who calls herself “the patron saint of the uncool” and likes to refer to her friends and herself as “Art Stars.” The book is a lighthearted version of how she became one. Oh, and did I mention she wears elf ears every day?

I’ll tell you this: If you’re looking for a woman with strong self-esteem who refreshingly lives her life the way she wants to, thank you very much, you’ve found her.

In one section of the book, she makes a list called “How to Be an Art Star.” There, along with the tip “Develop a signature style” (in which she suggests, “A good rule of thumb is to take all of your favorite clothes and put them on all at once”) she also says this:

“Rejection is no big deal. It’s simply a person’s deeming worthless everything into which you’ve poured your mind, heart, and soul. Accept that he or she must be a bad person and move on.”

HA. And there you have it. Best rejection advice I’ve heard all year.

Yeah, rejection stinks. Because whether you’re being dumped from a date, job, project or relationship, it’s pretty personal. They’re either rejecting how you physically look, talk, walk, eat, laugh, dress or wear your hair; or, they’re rejecting how you think, execute, write, sing, create or work. Either way, ouch, right? And yet, it’s basic life math: Not everyone is going to like us or what we create—and that’s a good thing! Can you imagine if we all liked the same exact houses, cars, clothes or songs? We’d be a walking pod of Same People unable to find our cars, driveways or each other because we’d all be exactly alike. How dull.

Luckily, we are all different. We like different parts of town, different car interiors and work spaces, different art, clothes and music. Which means that sometimes, we’ll meet people who hate what we do or who we are. Pfft. Big deal.

As Rev. Jen justifies it, they’re bad people, so move on. Or you know, just plain move on. There are plenty of other people out there who’ll love who you are and what you have to give, exactly as you are.

You might also like:
A Gleeful Reminder

Big love,

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Yes, Anything IS Possible

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

I just came across this story about Olympic athlete Monique Vandervorst who won two silver medals in Bejing as a paralympian cyclist. She was paralyzed from the hips down since the age of 13. Apparently, last year, she fell off her wheelchair in an accident, and it unparalyzed her. Yes, you read that right.

Click on the story to see the photos of Monique standing proud and talking about competing as a fully able athlete in the 2016 games.

The story is nothing short of a miracle. And it’s just another reminder that sometimes in life, the impossible is possible. Sometimes people survive fatal illnesses. Sometimes people who are paralyzed walk. Sometimes people who can’t win, win. Sometimes things that seem unreachable—like love and dreams and hopes and happiness—can be reached.

The next time you’re talking about love or life or a dream you want to pursue and think, “This will never happen,” do yourself a favor: think again. Sure, sometimes the chances are slimmer than a lottery winning, but they are possible.

If it helps, think of it the way Jim Carrey’s character Lloyd does in Dumb and Dumber when Mary, the girl he loves, says the chances that he and she might end up together aren’t good.

Lloyd: “You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?”

Mary: “I’d say more like one out of a million.”

Lloyd: “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!”

That, my friends, is an optimist. And it’s the best way to see your path ahead if you want great things to happen. Your success in life and love depends on how you see your search. So from now on, stop thinking about how unlikely it could be that you’d get what you want. Focus on the fact that while you don’t know where it may be coming from or how it may happen, it is possible. Anything, really, is possible. Do you have one microscopic smidgen of belief that what you want can happen? A smidgen is all you need.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to let Monique’s story propel me. Reach for the impossible. You just might get it.

You might also like:
Vitamin Optimism: Lean on Faith

Big love,

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How Optimism Can Find You Love!

Monday, December 12th, 2011

Ever since I wrote Meeting Your Half-Orange, I’ve gotten so many touching emails from people who read the book and said it helped their dating lives—and many from people who said they’d met and married their half-oranges! Today, I’m going to share one of those letters. Why?

Because Anne’s story reflects exactly how dating optimism can completely alter your single life as you know it.

Here, Anne explains how dating optimism worked for her, with a little Christmas magic thrown into the mix:

“I started reading your book when I was newly out of the hospital. I was 20 pounds underweight and as I lay in bed, the ridiculousness of reading your book almost made me throw it across the room. But I kept reading it. I read it all through the summer as I gained my weight back and started exercising again. I felt how joyous it would be to laugh with my half orange. I lingered around happy couples and soaked up their energy. I made feelings and not looks the primary goal in guys I looked at as potential dating partners. I finished reading your book and started all over again, two pages per night. I savored each word.

In October of last year, four months after I started reading your book, I met someone who seemed to meet all my qualities. He was much younger but it seemed to be working. I had a good month with him before I realized it was not going to work. I didn’t let that discourage me. My 36th birthday loomed and I felt happy and expansive and lucky.

When I went home last Christmas I decided to connect with a guy from my past. Though we’d gone to high school and even college together, I’d never seen him as more than a friend. Somehow I felt a magnetic attraction to him during this trip. We had a magical road trip to Santa Barbara. On December 30, he kissed me. We’ve been blissfully happy ever since. We got married this past October, and we are blissfully happy.

Thank you!! The Half-Orange method really works!!”

—Anne

Wow, I love this story. Not only because Anne got her happy ending, but because the happy ending can happen to anyone. In love, in life, it can work for you. If you feel positive about your search, fall in love with yourself first and get giddy about your future, you can have the same success. By focusing on the positive aspects of yourself and your life, and by having an optimistic belief in your future, you can change your life! Whether you’re looking for your true love, pursuing a dream career, trying to start a family or building a business from scratch, the positive process I walk you through can help you achieve it.

Try this: If you’re not already getting my weekly Vitamin Optimism email, sign up to get it! Every week, I give you one simple practice in positivity to focus on. Because the more you work to live a positive life every day, the better you’ll feel about yourself and the more likely you’ll get what you’re after. The optimism is my gift to you. Please, get the email, try the practice, and then watch the magic happen. Click the box to sign up!

Big love,

Posted in Optimisms | Comments Off on How Optimism Can Find You Love!

7 Steps to The Art (Basel) of Happiness!

Friday, December 9th, 2011

Last week, my husband and I flew down to Miami for Art Basel, where we hit galleries upon galleries full of amazing art. And over the course of a few days, as we traveled from Miami to Fort Lauderdale to Key West, I found myself noticing just how much art was all about being positive. Whether in big galleries or scrawled on light poles on the street, I found happy words and positive messages in the art everywhere—like life, it’s just up to us to take it in. Here’s just a taste of what South Beach and beyond had to say about how to live a happy life.

Step 1: Whatever you’re going through now, remember, Life is beautiful.

This is part of the Mr. Brainwash show (if you’ve seen the documentary Exit Through the Gift Shop or the streets in Downtown L.A., you’ve seen his work). It’s an oldie message, but a goodie. If you look for the junk, it’ll be there. If you look for the beautiful stuff, you’ll find that, too.

He also made this piece, another good message: Where there is love, there is life.

Step 2: Remind Yourself to Be Happy. Do the Best You Can. Be Good and Kind.

At the main Art Basel exhibit inside the Miami Convention Center was this piece called “My Mother’s Words” by Jonathan Borofsky. I think I would have liked her.

Step 3: Realize you have Everything You Want. Right Now!

At the Pulse Miami show, I came across this piece by Steve Lambert. It kind of makes me think of how I get happy every day. Instead of focusing on the things I wish I had, or the things I want and don’t have yet, I remind myself to look at what’s in front of me and see how dang great it really is. You have more of what you want than you realize. Light up the good parts of what’s right in front of you.

Step 4: Duh, Love Yourself.

On Collins Avenue, just outside of the W Hotel, I found this sticker. Which led me to the site LoveYourselfProject.net. And their message is this: “It’s time to start washing our brain with a positive message instead of being brainwashed with philosophies that keep us small and limited.” Oh, yeah.

Step 5: Even when all you see in front of you is trash, Bee Happy.

I found this on the street in Key West and it stopped me in my tracks. What a surprising fun place to find an inspiring message. It doesn’t matter what you’re looking at, happiness is a choice. As you’ll see in my next book Bright Side Up that comes out in February, I believe that we have the power to change how we feel by viewing what’s right in front of us from a new angle. What’s garbage to one person can be a saving grace to another. It’s all in how you see it.

Step 6: When things go wrong, find a way to say, Es Excelente!

This was another piece at the Art Basel show at the Convention Center with a pretty excellent message. Start your day thinking “Es excelente!” and you’ll find more than enough reasons to prove yourself right.

Step 7: Order the lobster roll.

Oh…right. So this isn’t officially “art,” but believe me when I tell you that the lobster roll from The Conch Shack on Duval Street in Key West was so delectable, it tasted like art. In fact, we had it three times in two days, which reminded me: There’s no such thing as too much of a good thing. If it will make you happy and it won’t make a big dent in your wallet or isn’t a pain in someone else’s butt, order it. Eat it. Do it. Buy it. Wear it. Try it. Sing it.