I’ve never created a piece of pottery myself. The most I’ve done is hit up one of those “Paint a Piece!” places. And even then, no matter how hard I try, they still look like something a third-grader would paint…with their fingers…on their left hand…wearing a blindfold.

Feel free to try new things—in clay, in love. (Image: Bill Longshaw, freedigitalphotos.net)

But I recently emailed with a woman, who told me how she found solace from a hard time in her life by working with clay.

“One thing I’ve learned about clay,” she wrote, “is that you learn not to get too attached and it helps you deal with loss, since pieces can break in the pre and post firing process.” In fact, she says, though some recent pieces broke while transporting them to the kiln, she ended up making even better plates.

That, to me, is how dating should be. An unsuccessful date shouldn’t be taken to heart too seriously. If you can learn to let go of the loss, you can remember that you’ll find love with someone even better.

Look at each date as a new attempt to fire your perfect plate. Some will get mashed in the clay process, some you may lose on the way to the kiln, some may crack while you try to glaze it. But with every plate you make, you’re only getting better at knowing who you are, what you like, what works best. So that when you’re ready, the perfect plate will make it through—and, like Sue’s plates, it will be even better than the last. Not to mention that after all that work, you’ll appreciate your special one more than you ever have before.

Get good at losses. They’re steps along the path to your perfect other half.

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Big love,

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 9th, 2009 at 12:06 am and is filed under Optimisms.