And the winner for the most moving Oscar speech of the night goes to…Sandra Bullock. I saw and loved The Blind Side—like, tears-streaming-down-my-neck loved. I was happy to see that Sandra not only got credit for moving so many people in the movie, but that she moved so many people in her speech, too.
In fact, Sandra said three things in particular that made me think of you, because the messages are universal and speak volumes about the love you may be seeking in life.
SANDRA MOMENT #1: “Everyone who’s shown me kindness when it wasn’t fashionable, I thank you. To everyone who was mean to me when it wasn’t…like, George Clooney threw me in a pool years ago, I’m still holding a grudge…”
Yes, she was joking about Clooney, but she makes a seriously solid point here. Everyone you’ve ever had a relationship with—your lovers, your friends, your parents, your high school sweethearts, your previous boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives—have made you who you are today. They have taught you lessons, shown you what you want in love and what you don’t. Whether they were kind to you or hurt you, these are the people worth thanking. With time and determination to grow positively from it, you will be the better for it.
SANDRA MOMENT #2: “If I can take this moment to thank Helga B . . . for making me practice every day when I got home: piano, ballet, whatever it is I wanted to be. She said to be an artist you had to practice every day.
Why do I highlight this part? Because optimism takes practice, too. I explain all of this in Meeting Your Half-Orange, how it doesn’t come second-nature to everyone. In fact, it didn’t come second-nature to me when I was single and needed it most, even though I was born and raised an optimist.
Trust me, I get it. When life is looking lonely and you fear a future with no one loving you in it, it’s natural to want to hug the emotions you’re used to: Defeat. Disappointment. Mistrust. Self-protection. Sadness. You name it, I felt it when I was single, too. But for you to become the joyful, strong, confident, interesting, passionate, hopeful person you’re meant to be, you have to practice your positivity. You have to practice taking a new view on your life! Because the better you get at doing that, the faster your true love will find you.
SANDRA MOMENT #3: “…and for reminding her daughters that there’s no race, no religion, no class system, no color, nothing, no special orientation that makes us better than anyone else. We are all deserving of love. So to that trailblazer who allowed me to have that [husband Jesse James]…”
I think we should all say this again and again to ourselves: We are all deserving of love. So if you feel deep down that you aren’t good enough to deserve the great love others have, you’re wrong. Or, on the other hand, if you feel deep down that you have such abundance in life that you couldn’t possibly ask for a great love, too, you’re wrong. Like the uplifting message we were reminded of in my post about the adorable show Glee, A Glee-ful Reminder, every single one of us deserves and can have a great love. Problems, issues, luck, pasts aside, look at where your life is today and give yourself the gift of asking for a relationship that will make you shine.
And so I ask you, dear readers: What surprising person might be in your Oscar speech about love? Which someone you’ve known or dated or loved or been raised by or been hurt by would you thank for making you who you are? If you thank your past, you’ll be better equipped to give more of yourself to your future partner.
Big Oscar love,