I’ve been seeing this guy on and off for about six months. We have a great connection, but he’s sometimes hot and cold with me. When I’m into him and calling, he backs off. And the minute I get mad and stop calling him back, he’s all over me. How do I get him to like me the same time I like him? —Diane

Yep, I’ve dated lots of these guys myself: The permanently indecisive ones who like having us latched on, but don’t want to commit. It’s as if they have an invisible retractable doggie leash on us women, and the minute we get distracted and start sniffing for something better elsewhere, they lock and tug!

My question to you is this: Is this how you want to feel in a relationship? Waking up every morning unsure about whether the guy in your life is going to like you today or not? We all deserve relationships in which we feel strong, respected, adored, and loved. Is that what this relationship is giving you? Here’s my recommendation on this guy: Cut the leash! Turn off his “hot and cold” taps for good and walk away. Start thinking about what you really want: a guy who is consistently running warm for you. And, of course, some good hot stuff thrown in when you want it.

So I guess I have a question for you now: Why would you want to “get” a guy to like you? Don’t you just want him liking you for who you are without having to do anything at all? Dear daters, what do you think Diane should do?

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