2010 December — The Life Optimist

Archive for December, 2010

“I just picked up your book. This year wasn’t one of my best and I’m committed to do everything to find a long-lasting relationship. After skimming through the book, I’m really excited to start working on the points you bring up, but there is a problem. I’m a guy. Does the advice work for the other half of the population?” —P.

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Hi, P,

Yes! It does. I know it seems a little tough to break through the pronouns of me talking straight to women sometimes, and if I could do it all over again, I would speak directly to you men, too. Because the message itself is for everyone—every gender, every age. The most important element is the science, and the science is the same. The impact that we have with our thoughts on our emotional brains and how this affects our body language and the energy we give out and what we get back from people—it’s universal.

I have heard from a couple guys who said they hard a hard time looking past the female-aimed message. But I’ve heard from more who said they were able to filter that stuff out, and it has totally helped. One guy who read it wrote to say that he started doing some of the things in the book one day (he walked to work, went a new route, spoke to people he normally wouldn’t, and worked up an Orange Buzz) and by the time he got home from work that night, two women he liked were calling and texting him and he was freaking out about how it was clearly all about the new energy he was putting out there. He said that one day after reading the book, he had changed from feeling tired and defeated in dating to being excited and confident. I also had a married guy friend read it and he’s been using the principles for success in work.

So if you’ve had a rough summer and could use a boost in some way and since you already have the book, I think you should give it a shot. Laugh off the parts that are written directly for women (while also, perhaps, gaining a little insight into the female mind about how we feel and think?) and try to take in the neuroscience and the studies from psychologists. It’s powerful, life-changing stuff and I would love for you to have the chance to get to the meat of it and let it start working for you.

Amy

Posted in Let's Talk | Comments Off on “I just picked up your book. This year wasn’t one of my best and I’m committed to do everything to find a long-lasting relationship. After skimming through the book, I’m really excited to start working on the points you bring up, but there is a problem. I’m a guy. Does the advice work for the other half of the population?” —P.

Would You Make Out With Him Anyway?

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

I just had myself an LOL moment today. And I really needed it. I’ve been having a down week in which even this optimist wasn’t feeling the optimism. So I have to give it to this video for sucking a little laugh out of my small spare tire of a belly.

Even the show's poster is hilarious.

The credit goes to a live theater show in Hollywood, Los Angeles called I Made Out With Him Anyway—billed as a multi-media, cabaret-style extravaganza starring Evie Peck and Kirstin Eggers, based on their collection of very true man dates gone very very wrong. For anyone in the Hollywood hood, there is one new show next week, December 7th, 2010, and tickets are available, so you might want to snatch one up. Because if the show itself is anything as funny as the first video in the creator’s web series, it’s gonna be good.

Which brings me to the I Made Out With Him Anyway web show. If you’ve ever had a disappointing online first date, you’ll probably appreciate the re-enactment of one girl’s true dating story. Check out the episode: Date #1: Stephanie and Cooper and ask yourself: Would you still make out with this guy? (I think not.)

Then, the next time you find your heart sinking during a date (or in a job interview, or at an apartment showing you’d set all your hopes on), just know that you’re not alone. We all go through these every day, and the best way to survive a bad date may be to turn your highly disappointed moment into highly-larious. How will you re-tell—or re-enact—your next bad date? And do you have any bad dates in your story roster that help get you or your friends out of a funk when you need ’em?

P.S. I’d like to point out that this is only the second time in all my digital life I’ve ever typed LOL. Whoops, okay, now the third. The first was in a Facebook comment last week. The second was when I wrote it up there in the post itself. And now again here. But I kind of like it. It makes me smile a little to type it. I mean, I am a laugh out loud kind of a girl. LOL. Uh-oh, I might start getting too used to this…

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Big love,

Posted in In the big wild world, It's a video | Comments Off on Would You Make Out With Him Anyway?

4 Tips For Taking Your Happiest Half-Orange Photo!

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

I came across a great little story in Psychology Today about a survey done by OKCupid.com. And it inspired me to share some thoughts on taking great photos for your online or Facebook pages that will help show you in your best light.

Use your picture to your authentic advantage!

For the survey, OKCupid asked millions of users to rate other people’s attractiveness based on their photos, and then analyzed the settings of the cameras of the photos themselves. How cool is that, right? Which means that armed with information on things like what time of day the pics were shot and with which lens, etc., they noticed some trends.

Here’s my take on some of what they found as well as my own thoughts: overall, four great tips to taking a photo that will help attract your half-orange.

1. Take photos in late afternoon sun or early evening twilight. Psychology Today notes that the lighting at that time of is more flattering, and it’s true: it creates soft shadows which creates more a slimming effect. It’s different than the harsh shadows created by bright sunshine. If you want to take a photo on a bright sunny day, just try doing it in a soft shadow of a tree or patio umbrella to create softer shadows.

Me (far right) with my gorgeous girlfriends. I took this from that "slightly-above angle."

2. Take the photos from a slightly-above angle. This is a tip of mine that works every time. Now, I don’t mean holding the camera above your head, but if you have your friend hold the camera at, say, their forehead level and tip it down toward you…hello gorgeous! It creates a slimming chin definition that takes away those double chins and hating your neck like Nora Ephron does. And there’s something about how your eyes end up looking slightly up at the lens rather than straight on—kind of adorge. I do this with all my shots of my friends, and I’ve been crowned the “staff photographer” for the flattering pics we get because of it. That picture (at left) is a perfect example.

3. Post a happy late-night photo. The OKCupid study found that late-night photos got stellar ratings from viewers. They couldn’t pinpoint exactly why that is, but consider the fact that many late-night photos are taken either with or when you’re among friends, which puts you in exactly the state of mind you want to be in with your half-orange. And, sure, sometimes you’re a cocktail or two into a night, which relaxes you more and probably brings out a much more natural smile—and as I talk about in Meeting Your Half-Orange, it’s that natural smile, the one that makes the corners of your eyes crinkle up, which feeds information to your emotional brain that you are truly happy, which affects the energy in and around you. And that stuff gets picked up in a photo, boy. So consider that: If you are trying too hard to get a flattering photo in the daytime, get someone to take a snap of you at night.

4. Be real. The three tips on taking a good photo are all about planning or altering the angle of the shot so you look your best. But even then, a photo won’t mean squat if it isn’t reflecting the real you. The way I see it, a fake-ish photo is not only setting you up for disappointment (because you may be disappointing your date if you’re not really the person you sold yourself to be), but it also isn’t building you up in the right way. You should be proud of yourself for who you are, not who you wish you were. If you don’t ski, for example, posting five shots of that one trip you rode on the ski lift three years ago isn’t so straight up, is it? And if you have a few smile lines or wear glasses, posting the one shot of you that’s kind of far off at that fancy event where you once wore contacts with your friend cut off at your side…again, that’s not the real you, is it? If your potential dates don’t like you for who you really are—your likes, your dislikes, your desire to have kids, your freckles and glasses—then you don’t want to be dating them anyway!

So post the most flattering shot you can of the real you in a happy state of mind, and you’ll be one step closer to your half-orange seeing you for the awesome partner you plan to be.

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