Sometimes it’s healthy to think about what it is you’re thankful for. This is one of those times. While you wait to begin the official “dating optimism” process I lay out for you in Meeting Your Half-Orange, get yourself on track by giving yourself the gift of gratefulness right now. Because however bummed out you sometimes feel, and however much you may crave a relationship, there’s plenty to be thankful for!
Be thankful for the path you’re on… (Image: Ken Spencer)
Here, let me just remind you what is so damn awesome about your life right now:
1. Be thankful for . . . your big heart. If you’re looking for love right now, that’s your heart asking for it. And not everyone feels that call. Some people today really couldn’t care less if they spent their days, nights or holidays alone. If you do care, that’s a sign that you’re ready to be a part of something bigger—a healthy, happy relationship. Be thankful you’re there. That’s when love will know to come find you.
2. Be thankful for . . . your kick-ass friends. The friends who are single and happy to be your wingmen (and wingwomen) when you need it. The friends who will listen to you gripe and cuss about the date you thought went great, until you never got a call back. The friends who know when you need a bottle of wine and some good laughs to get your mojo back on track. And, don’t forget, be thankful for the friends who are in healthy, happy relationships that remind you what all your dating efforts are really for.
3. Be thankful for . . . TiVo, Hulu and cable. Back in the days when there were about eight television channels—or nothing but Pa on the prairie playing his fiddle—it was harder to find ways to drown out those sorry-for-me moments. Now? Hell, you have more channels and shows and streamings to keep your mind off of your singleness forever! I’m not encouraging you do this too much. I mean, it will fry your brain. But when you need a break from your heart, dive in and be thankful for all your options.
4. Be thankful for . . . the gorgeous world around you. I promise you: When you need a little boost about your love life, just take a walk outside. Maybe it’s in the brisk air, through fallen, cracking leaves. Maybe it’s in snow or foggy drizzle. Maybe you’ll walk along a beach with trees by the water. But whatever nature you see, it will help you put things in perspective: Love is going to add to your life and enhance what you already have. But for now, isn’t life beautiful? Shouldn’t you breathe this great life in even more? (Yes, by the way. That’s an affirmative.)
5. Be thankful for . . . McDonald’s fries. I mean, how good are McDonald’s fries? Yes, we all know how processed and frozen and shipped and oiled and fried and salted and unhealthy as all hell for us. We know this. But there’s little pain in life that can’t be cured—for just a minute—with a bite of a piping hot Mickey D’s french fry.
6. Be thankful for . . . the dates who have burned you. You wouldn’t be the person you are now if it hadn’t been for those you’ve loved and lost before. You may be thinking, “Yeah, but if it wasn’t for that jerk, I wouldn’t have wasted all these months or years feeling so damn lousy!” And that’s probably true. But the person you’ve become—and still are becoming—is a stronger, better, wiser, and much more feeling human being than you were before.Be grateful for what you’ve learned and how much more of a catch you are now because of it.
7. Be thankful for . . . your health. I’d be remiss if I didn’t remind you that you wouldn’t be seeking love if you weren’t alive and kicking. Be grateful for that. Health is something most of us don’t appreciate until we’ve lost it in some way. Please, thank the universe or God or whoever you believe gave you the body you’re in, for letting you live in it. Just don’t eat too many of those McDonald’s fries and blow the whole thing.
8. Be thankful for . . . your weird tendencies and funny laugh. If you were some dull, dry, boring, average person, you would have settled for some average and boring relationship a long, long time ago. Because if you don’t care about the details of what’s in yourself and others, you can latch on to the first person who asks you out and be perfectly fine with it. The fact that you’re single says you know you deserve more. You know you’re a catch with a cool brain, a big heart, a different sense of humor, great taste, you name it. And you want an equally interesting and unique partner for yourself. That’s why you’re single, because you don’t want to settle. Be thankful for your standards—they’re walking you straight toward someone amazing right now.
9. Be thankful for . . . the family who loves you. We get consumed by work, emails, blogging, Tweeting, shopping, eating, planning, meeting, flying and greeting. But at the end of the day, the people who raised us and love us are are the ones we need to remember. Single, schmingle. The more you think about the love you get from your family, the more you’ll realize that that is the love you deserve from your future partner! Remember this: If you’re not getting the vibe from the person you’re text-flirting with or hooking up with that they can ever give you that love, then leave it on the doorstep and spend time with the people who can.
10. Be thankful for . . . the hours you have alllllllll to yourself. Your time is yours to do with it what you will. Use it to cook, dance, create, compute, work out, make music, or whatever your heart desires. Your single hours are yours and yours alone. Don’t waste them by ruminating about some bad date or being alone. Live up the hours you have so you can say later how grateful you were to be single at this very moment! For it is now that you’ll discover and uncover who you really, truly are.
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Big love and happy happy thanks,